The Corsair Collar: The Triumphs and Downfalls

I'm trying to figure out the dang collar on this bodice. I need the help of women with a keen eye for fashion (which would obviously be all of my customers). Here's the deal, I have this two-piece Pirate Bodice set, and I'm having issues with the collar. Originally, I had this lapel-style collar anchored in the middle of the bust, but I felt like it was...

too much cleavage coverage? So, I widened it out, to open up more neckline, but I can't decide which one is better. Be honest with me, even if you're critisizing me.....I can...hopefully...take it! The picture with the reddish hot pink striped bodice on top of the black waist corset displays my new collar. The black and red rose bodice is my old collar. Now, the other thing that happened with the old version is the collar didn't stay splayed out to the sides, the lapels kept creeping in toward the middle front, so th
ey wouldn't look as wide out to the shoulders. It was like there was a set of lapels in the middle of your chest. Man, designing and revising patterns takes forever!!! All the same, at least I actually care about my customers and the fit of their bodices. Most patterns take months to create. Keep that in mind!!!

Things not to say to me at a Ren Fest

So, I've been doing the Oklahoma Renaissance Festival the whole month of May, and I've got to be honest, I hear the dang dumbest questions ever conceived from people that walk into my booth. Granted, I do this for a living, and I know a lot more about the ins and outs of bodices than the common man.....but seriously. Here's just a few examples.

*Do these break your ribs? (said in a valley-girl teenage drawl)

*Oh my gosh! I totally know how that chick in Pirates of the Caribbean feels! (we hear that at least 20 times an hour....it gets really old. And no, you don't know how she feels. Unless you're an anorexic actor, you don't know how Keira Knightly feels)

*I bet you don't have anything that fits my fat body! (Yes, we actually do, and the reason you're in here is to look skinny)

*So...are these a "one size fits all" type of deal? ( I can't even justify that with an answer most times. I just hang my head in shame.)

*Giggle* *Giggle* Can we try one on him???? (Sure, if you want to make a mockery of my life's work and fine quality clothing, and try it on a man's body so you can all have a good laugh and I can go home and cry myself to sleep.....go ahead and freaking do it!)

*How much are these shirts? (Don't call them Shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

*What country do you guys get these from? (well....it's a country called America!!!! Me and my husband make them. We don't import crap!)

*Where would you wear these things? (At this point, I am dumbfounded, and I stare at them with a scowl on my face that is a mixture of disgust and confusion. Uh...we're at a renaissance festival, and you're asking me where to wear them?"

*Can you breathe in those things??? (Well....let's see....I have a pulse, my chest is obviously heaving, because I have a goodly amount of cleavage, and I'm yelling at you as you run in terror from my booth. Yes, I can breathe in "those things")

Guys, I know I sound really bitter, but I might be a little jaded at this point in time. Don't mind me. I'm melodramatic....to say the least. Any of you who know me personally know that I have no settings between 0 and 10.