maybe not the best idea ever

So, this morning at 5:00 am, I was going downstairs to get sewing and I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and fell down the last few steps, catching myself on my ankle, and rolling it. I yelled for my husband who rushed down and carried me to a couch and gingerly examined me for any breaks. At first, it wasn't swelling at all, so I thought, "OH, well, I must be over-reacting.", and hobbled over painfully to get back to my sewing. However, after doing some work, I looked down and that little knobby bone on the outside of my ankle had swelled to the size of an egg. Crappy. So, what the dickens does this episode have to do with these pictures? Uh....nothing really, but I hate posting a blog without photos! I just wanted to say that if you have a current order with me, it make take 1-2 days longer than I had wanted it to, because I'm moving so painfully (literally) slow! ;)
These are pictures of one of my corset patterns that I consider a failure. I had this great idea to have an underbust seam on the corset, and have bra like cups. The issue here is that-not only are all women different sizes in the breasts, but they're all different shapes! My further mistake was that I wanted to make these into patchwork bodices, so I would pick two fabrics, and alternate them....so you would have one breast cup made of a red stripe, and the other one made of a red leaf print. Then, for the waist portion, it would switch, so the waist under the leaf print would be the stripe, and so on. I wish I had a picture of one of those, rather than the ONLY solid colored one I did, for myself which you see here. This was taken a good 3 years ago, because OBVIOUSLY I don't use d-rings for lacing...even if it's up the back, (Oh, why didn't I think things through!!!!) and the back on this absolutely dug into my lower back. I remember when I was making these patterns, I considered doing longer lines in the back, but thought, "nah, it will take more of this expensive fabric. I can't do that! I'm poor" Anyhow, so I had about 60 of these crazy patchwork/breast cup/alternating fabrics corsets at my first big festival I ever did. Well, they didn't sell worth crap. In fact, no one was interested in them at my next festival, or the next. Finally, when I got to my first year of the Oklahoma Renaissance Festival, I put them on a "sale" rack, and marked them from $130 to $60....and no one wanted them. Months later, I hauled them home, shamefully put them on ebay, and sold them off, on by one. They really weren't a horrid pattern, but you literally had to have a C or a D cup for them to work, and I just hadn't realized that. I'm ready to admit when I'm wrong. Oooh, I just thought of another horrible corset, made by me "back in the day" that I need to show you guys! I'll do that on the next blog. Meanwhile, forgive my slowness and don't fall down your stairs!

How do You Measure Up?

Just as a prelude to this, I want you to know that I am just like every other woman. I have serious body issues. I look in the mirror and find everything wrong, nothing right, and a vast reservoir of insecurities. I think , "Wow, Michelle. You're fat and ugly." So, the fact that I'm posting all these pictures of me means that I seriously trust you guys and want you to see the horrifying differences that can occur when measuring for a corset! First off, BRA SIZE and BUST MEASUREMENT are two completely different worlds! Having customers send you their bra size is sooo scary, because so many women are wearing the wrong size, even if they're doing it on purpose for comfort! Lots of people think the first number in their bra size is their bust measurement, but that's wrong! My bra size is 40, my bust measures 44. That's a big difference! It's the difference between having a corset that gently lifts and makes me look fabulous and a corset that smashes my breasts up into that horribly awkward jiggly shelf. In the second picture, I'm measuring way up at my WAIST, where everyone should be measuring! See how much higher it is than where I wear my jeans? Plus, I'm holding the measuring tape SUPER TIGHTLY and sucking in.

Okay, so there, ABOVE MY BELLY BUTTON, and above the lovely love handles...or rather, hate handles. I came up with a 32 inch waist. Now, I want you to see what a difference sloppy measuring makes!

Here, I'm measuring where MOST people THINK their waist is. Down there. Where you wear your pants at. You can't see the measuring tape, but I came up with 40 inches. That's an 8 inch difference! In the corset world, that's A SERIOUS DISCREPANCY!

My more common problem is when people send me their "loose" or "comfortable" measurements, and want me to "take it down" from there. You can see that the measuring tape is at 39, when I'm measuring comfortably snug, up at the right spot around my waist. I have countless people asking me "So, with corsets, I've heard that you measure your waist and then take 4-6 inches off for the measurement." I honestly don't know what the crap other corset companies are doing, but they are taking a serious risk there. If there's one thing I've learned doing this, it's that ALL OF US WOMEN ARE SHAPED COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! I always knew that we were all unique, but when I started trying corsets on people, I realized that there's literally no two girls alike. Another part of that equation is that women have different levels of "squishiness". I know, it's a yucky word, but there it is. Some women, like me, can pull their waist down considerably, because all I've got is soft jiggly baby fat leftover from having the two little devils in my house. Whereas, girls that are a lot smaller than me don't really have the ability to pull their waist in much, because there's a layer of skin..and then there they are. Just muscle and bone. So, once again, LADIES, LISTEN TO ME! When you're measuring, don't use some abstract "measure and then subtract however many inches" thing. How would I have any clue how tightly or loosely you're holding the measuring tape! I mean, there's 7 inches of difference between my "tight" and "loose".

Bleh. Here's me in a corset that would fit my "comfort" measurement. See how the hips jut out, it doesn't pull me in at all, and it makes me look very straight up and down? This is what could happen to you if you send me too loose of measurements! I know that none of YOU reading this blog have done that, but I have had customers who didn't listen to me when I told them how to measure.

This is a corset that I think fits me well. I'm holding it tightly to my body, but see how much of a gap I start out with in the middle! Every single time I do a renaissance festival, I'll have customers who come up and want to be fitted, so I'll pull out the correct size, wrap it around them, and they instantly start freaking out and saying they're too fat for it. People! I know what I'm doing! I'm a professional!

Ah, see what a difference it makes? And no, it's not laced fully to the center, but I honestly like the look of a little bit of lacings showing, because it creates a better central focal point. But however you like it, I want you guys to look beautiful and have well fitting clothing! I know that all of you feel like me and are fed up with the clothing manufacturers out there who don't make anything to fit anyone! Believe me, every single girl that I ever meet at these renaissance festivals feels like "nothing at the store fits them." It doesn't matter what size or shape they are. Everyone from the size 0's to the curvy 26's is annoyed with the clothing at stores. I want to GET OUTSIDE OF THAT HORRIBLE BOX! You guys just need to help me do it by measuring correctly! I can help you feel beautiful, which I know is rare for a lot of us. Back to that "what I feel when I look in the mirror" thing....my favorite part of my job is when I see women look at the mirror and LIKE what they see. I know that generally, we go out around the world, compare our own bodies to everyone elses....stand in the checkout line at Wal-mart and look over at the magazines where everyone is beautiful and flawless.....watch TV where no one has excess fat, and everyone looks good 24/7. It is depressing. I fight all of those feelings every day, but I would like to hope that by making what I do, I'm giving women this instant self esteem boost. One single moment where it's NOT "Oh, look how fat I am!" but "OH, look at that waist....and that rack! Wow"