With Integrity

This is my brother-in-law, Barrett, and his little daughter, Naomi.

           My sister called yesterday to give me some ideas on what to give to her husband for Christmas. He is the most extraordinarily unique man I've ever met, and I cannot figure out what to get for him....ever.  He likes American-Made, quality, built-to-withstand-the-test-of-time products that your Grandpa would have loved, but honestly, those things are hard to find, even on the interwebs.  I DO love that Barrett sticks to his guns.  What's really awesome is that Emma met him while working a renaissance festival with me. He has played the "Barefooted Bagpiper" at tons of renaissance festivals around the Midwest,  although he's not doing that as much these days. He is a living, breathing example of everything he believes, and whenever I have questions about how to move forward with integrity, he always has some beautiful story from history that he tells me to capture the essence of what I need to know. 

What the what? I cannot figure out why I could only find ONE picture in my whole computer with me and my younger sister, but she happens to be pregnant in it! Sorry, Lemons. I needed a picture for my blog!!!

        The reason I've been thinking about my brother-in-law a lot lately is because I've realized that most of my UN-happiness comes from NOT living true to my authetic self, and NOT taking the actions of thinking the thoughts that come from the highest form of Me.  If I were more like Barrett, I could at least have the gloriously stubborn notions that support who I am, and exist in peace with them.  I spend all of my mental capacity thinking about ways that I have to fix myself or my company, and occasionally how I have to fix other people in my life.  It's an incredibly hard thing to do to just...."be". 

      Emma and I had a good talk yesterday where we both realized that the happiest and most beautiful we had ever felt was when we weren't trying to fix something about ourselves. Crazy.  I'm struggling with the difference between "not fixing yourself" and "doing tons of work so that you'll not have to feel like you have to fix yourself....".  How in the heck do you make peace with yourself without saying, "But, these are all the things I have to fix."  I mean, isn't progress good??? Isn't moving forward awesome? Isn't hard work the greatest? 

       Still trying to sort this out.