Studies in Masochism of the Ren-Fest Variety

This is how I predict that I'll look every weekend of the show this year. Haphazard, sweltering hot in a literal way....looking vaguely like I'm hauling around an awkwardly shaped pummelo strapped to my front side, as it nestles in amongst my love handles, socializing, fraternizing, and basically making me appear as though I had made love to several Dominos Pasta Bread Bowls, as opposed to my husband. 

         "Oh, boy. You can do this, Michelle. You're a fighter! You will be a ravishing success! Think of the fame! The adoring fans!! It can all be  yours!! "  Oh, flip! Who am I kidding? I can't talk myself into victory.... I've been REALLY down for the last few days, thinking about the formidable month of May. You would think that after I had done this for 7 years that I would be a polished prolific professional. I'm not.    I hesitate to comment on anything, for fear of becoming my own self-fulfilling prophesy, yet I do feel some sort of narcissistic, selfish need to articulate my woes here on a public page, in a vague hope of defeating them.

HOly FACE! I look so young! I'm just a kid! I can't believe I had a company....AND  kids! This  is me, wrangling babies at the end of a long hot day in 2006. The little red-head  is my niece, Maggie, and the one next to me is Brynn. 

          I have never ending amount of admiration and outright jealousy for the people who do ren-fests as a way of life, and keep such smiles on their faces.  Whether they're vendors, performers, royalty, organizers, volunteers or any of the hundreds of pieces to the puzzle, I know so many tenacious people that make me look like a whining hormonal teenager that doesn't want to clean her room in order to go to a friend's house. I QUITE literally cannot fathom how these super powered human beings keep up the love, devotion, and dedication to these festivals. What do they have that I don't have??
         Perhaps it's just that I'm not used to working Sundays. I strongly believe in sabbath day observance (Isn't it sad that God had to designate a day TO MAKE us slow down, in our fast-paced world?) no matter what your believe system is! Without a day to refocus, reset, meditate, and slow down, I think it's easy to turn into the worst version of yourself. I HATE that we live in a world where there is this constant need to be entertained, absorbing information, but there is not a time set carefully aside to process this information. I feel a deep weight in my heart when I'm standing in line for a ride at Disneyland, and there is whole entire families, slump shouldered, blank eyed, rapidly dancing thumbs over their phones, and not talking to each other. People don't know how to be bored anymore. It's actually an art....but perhaps "bored" is the wrong word. Also, it's entirely possible that I'm being judgemental and harsh on these innocent people. Perhaps I caught them at the ONE time that week when they were checking their facebook, and the rest of the time, they've been having genuine face-to-face interactions with the people they love, having engaging, revealing communication. But, back to the "time set aside/sabbath" thing.   I greatly cherish the time that I'm able to take to process...cogitate...delve right into WHY that post on facebook pissed me off so much and what it reveals about me, as far as weaknesses and pre-programmed responses. REALLY meditate on what is going on with my character when I allow anonymous passive aggression from the internet to influence the way I think and behave.
       

The words under this picture that got cut off when I photographed my scrapbook say, "Okay, look at my face in the picture over there! Brynn looks exactly like me. You kind folks can just look at the picture of me above, and the resemblance is striking.  Note Brynn's little cotton peasant dress. It was always covered in dirt and festival food at the end of the day. 

          So, bringing it back around the Renaissance Festivals, (sorry about the tirade there) I want SO badly to have a permanent better attitude, so that I can flourish and serve my customers with the compassion, cheer, and love which they deserve. I did have a vague breakthrough last year, after the Month of May was over. I realized that doing these shows could  not be about the money, because it would make me greedy, dissatisfied, and a slave to a very harsh, unyielding master. I decided that if the shows were solely for the purpose of meeting staggeringly fascinating people and helping them to love their bodies, then the positive effects would spread on over to me, and the worry about making enough money would be replaced with a sweet well of calm and contentment.  It sounds easy. It's actually gut-wrenching. I ignorantly believed that this mental breakthrough would carry me on through the rest of my days, where I would work hard, sacrifice, and take joy in the ease and comfort of showing love instead of greed, and service instead of selfishness. Seriously, Michelle? One revelation could change you THAT much? How charmingly idiotic of me.
           Here's the deal. When you do the right thing, you don't immediately get drenched in the glorious, invigorating rewards. I felt that if I changed my attitude, trying to love everyone I met, instead of viewing them as possible corset purchasers, that the money would inevitably come flowing into my company and I wouldn't be burdened with worry and stress. Wrong.   It IS better to endeavor to genuinely care, listen to, and serve other people. However, when the evil forces in the world know you're trying to be something greater than yourself, they perk right up. "Oh, you want to make a woman rediscover her beauty, Michelle?  How do you feel about doing it while you're VOMITING? *evil, EVIL laugh* How would you like to help a woman get over her insecurities while  your tent is being literally blown down around you?  How about a 400 pound clothing rack smashing into your cheekbone and then into your shoulder and breast? How do you like helping people NOW????"  These are, sadly, all very true stories of what has happened to me just recently. I'm being tested.  I know it. I accept it.  I hate it.

This is how it feels. Every. Dang. Time.   OH, and a quick, fun, side note here. See the lovely lass with her head sunken to the table? That's my beloved sister-in-law, Jill (otherwise known as the woman who sews all of the custom orders from the website, with just as much or more skill as me!)  and both Jill AND I were in our first trimesters of pregnancy at this show. We literally just took turns going behind the booth and throwing up all day long. One time we sent our husbands out to get subway sandwiches, because that's all that sounded good.....they must have gotten lost and took several hours to return. By that time we were so sick and hungry that we grabbed the sandwiches and inhaled them. Unfortunately, we both exhaled them a few minutes later, this time, side by side, in a sweet sisterly union, behind the booth. 

            Now, friends, I KNOW that the moral of the story is that you  have to do the right thing, ESPECIALLY when everything is going wrong and you're getting a serious lack of rewards. It's sort of like the people that are nice to a-holes, and not just kind to those that are kind to them. How impressive are you if you only get along with your friends? Not so much.  How awesome are you when you forgive, overcome, and conquer your feelings for someone you loathe, and then go on to become friends? Totally awesome!  Yet, once again, as with all things...easier said than done!  It's so simple to look at others and think, "Well, heck, if they would JUST do this, then (fill in blank here)."  but how often do I really look at myself and "just" do what I need to do?  I know. I JUST need to stop complaining in my brain about how hard this 5 weekend long festival is. I JUST need to be grateful that I even have a job, in a very complicated country where so many people desperately yearn for work. I JUST need to ........yeah, I know.

I think I've actually showed you guys these pictures before, but I LOVE seeing our tiny little setup in Wichita, Kansas.  Friends, I KNOW you want me to come back to that festival, but there's only so many times that you can stand having your tent blown down in 70 mph winds. Call me a weenie. It's true. You are made of tougher stuff than me!

        Even after all of this, I'm grasping at any overlying themes that will help me spell out my feelings of trepidation as the time for this festival to start approaches. I don't want to resort of self-flagellation and loathing where I tell myself vicious things like, "You are weak. Weaker than everyone else. Everyone else here is doing FINE with the heat and the hours. Why are you so tired? What a loser. Pathetic!" Yet I'm  not very good at pumping myself up with motivational affirmations. They always sound so sarcastic in my head, as if David Spade were narrating them.

Several things to take careful note of here. I NEVER knew how to accessorize when I started this company. See how I'm not wearing any jewelry, hats, cool shoes....ANYTHING?  This is the part where I strongly admonish you to accessories. My costume pieces make fantastic BASE pieces, but I want to see what  YOU do with them, when you add your personality in.  Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, ACCESSORIZE!!!  hECK, The most interesting part of my costume is the little owl pouch on my strange black lace-up belt. My sister, Emma has a matching one. We had one of our only fights EVER over these pouches. See, my genius sister is the one who designed it and came up with it. I liked it so much that I brazenly made me own and showed it to her one day when she got home from school, declaring that I was going to make and sell them. She was super annoyed at me for stealing the idea, butchering it, and bastardizing it. 

         In the end, I suppose I just need to commit to some manner of game plan, along with a few cognitive therapy type sayings that I'll have to glue to the wall in my booth.

Possible Ideas for Helping Me Not Go Crazy
*Installing more fans in my booth. I know they're not period-correct. However, if someone comes in and tells me to take them down, I strongly fear I might have some kind of crazy, pregnancy breakdown.  I will just have to try to hide them.
*Whole cooler full of ice. I seem to do fine if I shove constant piles of ice down into my breasts. I always end up soggy and gross, but maybe it will be better than heat stroke.
*Telling myself that it's TOTALLY okay to eat strips of elk wrapped in bacon (holy CRAP, that food from the Pauper's Eatery is good. Trust me. Go down to the Castleton Harbor area, in the lower food court. Walk along the decks by the swamp. Ask for Debbie. Tell her Michelle sent you.)
*Bags of chocolate, although if those damn little Dove wrappers patronize me and tell me to "take a bubble bath" I'm going to smash something.
*Remembering how much love and support I have from my customers, as much as I don't deserve it and don't merit it. If they can love a dramatically flawed, ill-tempered, tyrant, then certainly I can love them right back.

         Certainly, if any of you have brilliant things that you've figured out, let me know. I'm wide open to suggestions, because I clearly don't have many solutions that I've figured for myself.   And lastly, I want to make it clear that I AM grateful for this job and all of the people who support our company.  If this blog smacks of actual ingratitude for my customers, I will need to immediately delete the whole dang thing.  This is an honest-to-goodness plea for help. I'm not a super-woman, by any stretch of the imagination, and even though I feel brazen for asking for advice and help when I already receive so much, I do honestly have to make changes in order to not crack under the pressure.  Thanks again to all of the women and men who make this company what it is today. It's not about me, or even the corsets. It's about you.

Mother Knows Best

Hopefully Opal doesn't mind that I used her picture that she posted on facebook. It's just that it happened to have my mom, all garbed out in it! She's the one of the far left, and looks exactly freaking like me (which is why she gets in trouble when she complains about her appearance.). OH, also, funny side note. Me and  my sister in law next to me are both pregnant and in corsets! She and I are due a week apart....bless our hearts.)

         When I was a teenager, my mom started taping little index cards with sayings on them to our bathroom mirror so we could read  and memorize them whilst we were brushing our teeth. I'm going to share with you my TWO very favorite ones, because they play like a recording in my brain AT LEAST once a day. 

"If we hung our trials out on a line, you'd take yours, and I'd take mine."

           This is one of my enduring favorites, because it sounds like something a little craggy lady in an apron would  would say while she was hanging up laundry. OH...it's also my favorite, because it reminds us to be GRATEFUL for the trials that we have that seem to be hand-picked just for us.   I'm certainly never fond of hardships while I'm right in the crushing grip of them, but when that dang hindsight kicks in, I always think, "Holy JUNK! Look at how that exact situation helped me out later on in life. Look at how that helped me to grow!"  Now, granted, I believe that with lots of really hard situations, we may never come to know the reasons in this life, but certainly we can still choose to let the catastrophies shape us into better people.  

         I truly wish that I had the wisdom to be humble and charitable while life was going smoothly AND roughly, but it seems like I need good hard kicks in the emotional shins to help me wake up and remember how to be a decent human being. I know that hardships don't necessarily always make people better in the short-run... sometimes we let our own personal pain dominate all of our thoughts and actions, thus making the world an even worse place for everyone else. However, some of the best people I know have lead very hard lives, yet their unfailing positive attitudes and selflessness still shine bright and uplift every single person they meet. I doubt that they would have the fortitude and compassion to act this way had they not suffered the ordeals they had been given. 

This is me and Brynn, this last summer, exporing the amazing rock formations of Southern Utah. It struck me how beautiful that the LOW places where, just as much as the high places. When  you're down, you can look up and find hope...light shining through.

        My other favorite quote that I have to repeat to myself every dang day is this one. I actually found the source for the original quote, as well!

 Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. 

-Brendan Francis

      

       OH, man! This one has such great imagery. I can just see myself, whining and complaining, while standing in front of what I see as an insurmountable barrier, but what is actually a piece of tissue paper. I'm thinking that generally, the tissue paper is my shoddy attitude, and if I could just bust through it, I'd be good to go! ;) 

     But just think of all of the fears that choke us, making it so we can't move forward because of illogical paralysis. Come on....just one dang step.....You can do it!!! 

      Thus, I have decided to start taping quotes to my kids' mirror, and making them memorize and record them in their little brains. I would be REALLY interested to see what  YOUR favorite inspirational quotes are. I think that, together, we can make the internet a place for positive interaction, rather than trolling, cowardice, and contention! 

Adventures in Thought-Provoking Disasters!

Brynn, in her boots, making a face in front of the wreckage! 

      Before I even tell ANYTHING about our journey over the last week, I would like to say a few things. I have struggled with my own attitude about this business for years and years. Since it's my baby, and I put the good old classic "Blood, Sweat & Tears" into it, I tend to take things personally, say thoughtless, foolhardy exclamations, and view my customers as people that I serve and need to make happy, but nothing beyond that. I really suck at making friends, and I think it may spring from the misconception that I have of what a "friend" even is. I fail to remember that we have friends to TEACH US TO SERVE OTHERS, not  to see how we can benefit from other people and what they can do for us! True friendship is the exact opposite of selfishness.  It is kind, loving, forgiving, caring, and doesn't stop to think about "inconveniences" or " so much time" in the process of serving.
        In this vein, I apparently have a HECK of a lot more friends than I ever thought I did. Not the "accept request" kind on facebook, but the actual "We-are-thinking-about-your-needs-instead-of-our-own" type. I spent the whole weekend at the Norman Medieval Faire accepting kind thoughtful gifts and treats, in between bouts of running to the porta-potties to throw up (DANG morning sickness will get to you...especially when you're trying to look pretty, be presentable, and serve customers!), but more than that, I had hoards of people coming in JUST to ask about me and how I was doing with my company and my family. People were sweet, kind, sympathetic, and supportive.  I can promise you guys, if you came past the booth when I wasn't there, it was probably because I was bawling my eyes out, overwhelmed and humbled by the love I was receiving. Now, granted, the last time I was pregnant, I absolutely wept through the entire 2 hours of Mary Poppins, so I AM emotional, but that doesn't negate how treasured I felt as a human being.

      And guess what! This was all BEFORE we got in a life-threatening/altering accident! The love that I have felt literally seeping into my physical and emotional wounds has been healing better than any medicine. We have had such an out-pouring of genuine concern and charity that my whole chest is absolutely on fire just THINKING about it. I can honestly say that THIS is the pinnacle of my career! It helps show my soul to me, and let me know that I DO have a noble, higher purpose for being here in this life, and particularly, in running this company. When I declare that my ultimate dream is to help women learn to  love and appreciate their bodies, it sounds so pre-packaged and gimmicky. I might as well be a lotion commercial.  The thing is-I believe in what I'm doing from down at my very core. I KNOW that our whole entire world could change if women were able stop focusing on their failures and flaws and start marveling at the wonderous gift that our physical forms are in this life. I feel that learning to have charity and love for ourselves is the start to loving others.  Yet, in showing love for others, we see the good and beauty in ourselves....thus the marvelous cycle continues.
        What I feel that I've learned this week......how do I even say it? I am aware that I have awesome, loyal customers and fans, none of which I feel that I deserve. I wasn't aware that my little/big dream to help change women was ALREADY working. The reason I can TELL that it's succeeding is that the way I've been treated could only come from women who have that love and passion within them! You ladies don't sound like selfish-small-minded women who focus on your flaws. You're vibrant and glorious....just exactly the way I've seen you the whole time!

I REALLY enjoy the box of anti-biotic ointment band-aids in the front dash..proudly displayed....defying everything. 

 Ahem. Day 1. Monday, April 8th
I will just start with the day that we left. We headed out of Joplin, MO, near where my parents live. We stopped at Wal-Mart and spent an absolute shameful amount on snacks of every manner. This is  not normally like me. I must have KNOWN something would occur.  
That night, Brynn got the same stomach bug that I had had the previous night. It hurt SOOOO much. Churning, bubbling, stabbing pains, with throwing up and extreme sensitivity. Brynn said, "Mom....it feels like someone is hitting me in the stomach with a baseball bat."  She was right.  I climbed into the back to lay down with her. She was so sick that she couldn't even stand the pressure of her dress, so off it went. She just lay there in her undies, while I stroked her head.

I think this almost makes me more sad than our dang car! I mean, I LOVE our trailer! The fact that it carries around our livelihood makes me feel like it's one of my employees. It works freaking hard, too! 

 Day 2.  Tuesday, April 9th, EARLY morning, about 2 AM.
  I woke up to hear my husband, Tyler saying that there was so much ice on the windshield that the defrost couldn't even battle it, with the highest heat setting. Strange. I hadn't thought the roads were bad at all just an hour before. Everything seemed fine.  I laid there for about a half an hour, feeling very....I can't even DESCRIBE how. I just know that I didn't feel right. I called up to Tyler and told him to let me take over, since he was probably tired, then I laid my head back down by my kids.  A few moments later, Tyler yelled, "Son-of-a!  Brace Yourselves!" Suddenly, I could see the trailer weaving wildly out the back window, and suddenly, everthing in the world happened! I felt myself being violently chucked around the back, with an unearthly sound, akin to screeching dolphins, breaking, plates, and popping balloons.  Suddenly, I was laying on the roof of our car, and everything was upside down. I felt the wind immediately. The window beside me had broken out (or I had kicked it out...one of the two.).  I later found out that the wind gusts that night were 50 mph, with a temperature of 12 degrees and a windchill of -4 degrees. No wonder it was SOOOO freaking cold.

stuffed, animals, jumper cables, and a mattress covered in my blood and the back window. 

 I was VERY disoriented, and my whole entire body FELT the weight of disappointment, panic, anxiety, sadness, and bone-chilling fear. I could hear my kids crying, and as I climbed out, I didn't know what to do first.  I ran up to the front and frantically called to Tyler. He didn't answer, and of course, my mind ran a million miles per minute,  imagining him dead on the highway. My soul cracked.  He called to me. He was fine. Oh, how I LOVE that man! I called to my friends, Carly and Paige, and the answered.  Thank the Lord. My kids were still crying. I remembered that Brynn was only in underwear, and I reached in and wrapped and blanket around her, trying to steer clear of all the glass. I noticed that my leg was covered in little rivers of blood, but I didn't even feel anything. Thank you, adrenaline.

Over to the side, you can see Carly's guitar. It got some STRANGE puncture wounds. We were all deeply distressed. What is life without music!? 

 Right then, a few men came running up. They frantically asked questions, about how many people there were, if anyone was hurt, and so on. One of them yanked off his jacket and put it around me, and then he pulled both of my kids from the ground, wrapped them tightly in blankets, and held onto them, one in each arm, while he waited for his friend to back up the truck that they had been driving. These wonderful, beautiful, angels of human beings pulled us into the warmth of their truck, and let us know that they were all volunteer firefighers and EMTS! You can only imagine the relief I felt. The immediately started checking us for injuries, gently feeling up and down our necks and spines. They talked gently to us the whole time.  I realized that I was still wearing the jacket of one of the men out in the freezing, blasting cold, and I was able to give it back to him so that he, my husband, and a couple other men could go to the trailer and try to get some of our luggage into the back of their truck.

So....this is my trailer, looking into a fun-house mirror. 

 It seemed like the ambulances took a million years to get there, but heck, the roads were absolutely wretched, and that black ice happened soooo very quickly.  We had also had the problem of having a much lighter trailer than normal, seeing as we left most of our inventory back in Missouri, since we were headed back in 3 weeks to do the Oklahoma Renaissance Festival. I think our trailer just ended up acting like a sail for those high winds, and that's why it fish-tailed out of control.

Inside of trailer. Metal crumples beautifully. 

 Anyhow, we got to a very small little hospital in Hugo, Colorado, and were taken care of beautifully! We had a doctor that looked exactly like the kind of handsome doctor you would see on TV, and I was so deliriously happy to be ALIVE that I just kept cracking jokes, laughing, and grinning like an idiot, even while they dressed my wounds, which I DEFINITELY felt after the adrenaline started wearing off. They would have been able to just x-ray us, give us the okay, and release us, but the dang winds had knocked out their computer systems. After being there about 5 hours, we had to be transferred to the Denver hospital, which would be another 2.5 hour ride in an ambulance, again. Luckily, it was only me and Paige that had anything worse than bruises, so it was just us that got to make the arduous trip to a place with x-rays.

My PROUDEST wounds I have ever gotten! I mean, the fact that these purple bruises are the size and shape of my kid's heads? Priceless. I truly think that one of the reasons that my kids came out with so few injuries is because I grabbed both of them and held them against me while the car rolled, thus they were more stationary, and my body shielded them and took the brunt of the roll. 

 Probably my FAVORITE part of the whole entire ordeal was meeting the guy that was the EMT riding over with us on the second ambulance. I have never met anyone like  him, and if every single person in the medical world had the same attitude as Mark Morrison, the world would just be okay.  He was so caring, good-natured, giving, and kind.  He was probably in his late 50's, and had the face of someone who has been smiling and loving his fellow human-beings for his whole entire life.  He talked to me the whole entire ambulance ride, and told me what a privelage it was for him to have a job where he could help someone through the worst day of their entire life. He talked about how you have to truly love people to be in the medical world, because it's all about customer service.  I could tell he deeply loved  his job, and drew great satisfaction from it.  He had been a volunteer for 15 years before he ever actually got paid!!!!  I was so inspired by him that I felt like I could do anything and love anybody!

This reminds me of the kind of horror you see after a tornado. Metal just being sheared off like someone took gigantic scissors to it! 

 Phew! And thank heavens, we got checked out, nothing broken...I got a nice little ultrasound picture of my baby. Thank heavens there's only one in there.   We got picked up by my husband's brother (thank you soooo much, Nate) and got to go to their house in Denver, where my kids got to play with their triplet girls! ;)
Day 3: Wednesday, April 10th.  After some serious thought, I decided that we may as well just get a new diesel SUV right there in Colorado, rather than trying to do rentals and having to drive a rental car AND a U-haul truck home. None of us girls felt like driving, and my leg was so swollen, I'm not sure I could have physically done it. I couldn't walk worth jack either, with all the muscle tissue damage and cuts I had gotten.  Anyhow, after looking at several, we finally found one with the right price and mileage. We spent the rest of the day filling out paperwork and spending every  last penny that we had just made at our Norman show. At least we had the money. *sigh*.   P.S. We DO have full coverage on THIS vehicle, because not having it on the last one was the worst idea ever. Insurance companies don't give a dang if you wreck of your own accord and you have limited liability.
Day 4: Had to drive two hours BACK into the town where we wrecked, and go to the tow-yard to clean everything out. It was gross and messy and emotional. It's one of those "behind-the-scenes" things that you don't think about. It took us HOURS to transfer things, assess damage, and marvel at what had and hadn't broken!

Just when we thought we were safe out of horrible weather...this! Thanks, Colorado. It was beautiful, and terrifying. 

 That night, we were so exhausted, but we just wanted to go home!!!!  The GPS said that we could get home at 5 am on Friday, and it sounded just so beautiful!  Originally, we had hoped to get home Tuesday, so  Friday sounded acceptable.  However, as we climbed the steep mountains in Colorado, the snow started coming down, it was dark outside, and we saw people swerving off the road left and right. We slid around a little ourselves, and needless to say....we were a bit.....tense.  We found a hotel. We would drive home in the daylight.

HOly JUNK!! My leg looks so swollen and gross here! I PROMISE, my calf isn't normally that massive! 

Day 5, Friday, April, 12th. Yup, the whole morning, we drove very slowly on icy roads, and they actually closed the pass just an hour or so after we came down, because of a horrible accident.   When we crossed the Utah state line, I had never seen anything so vividly breathtaking in my life! I kept making jokes about how we weren't meant to ever leave Colorado, and how it would be like the bridge on the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and right as we were crossing the state lines, and headless horseman would come out of nowhere, throw a pumpkin at our car, and we would all die.  However, we made it just fine, with not much to speak about.....just the way I like it.

I have a LOT to do to try to prepare for our 5 weekend show starting in May. I'm going to have to sew the most incredible things anyone has ever seen and have the best show run of my entire life! The thing is, I'm SUPER energized, like I've never been! I feel like I can do anything, be anything, and sew anything! In many ways, this has been one of the best blessings of my whole life. I honestly needed some kind of re-charge, and man....did I get it! I know that I love this business fiercely, and I love my customers even more. Being able to see how much people care has really motivated me to be a better servant through my company. This life is precious, and I yearn to fill  it with moments and actions that I can be proud of. I have been preserved because there is a great path ahead of me, and I need to walk it.

Infrequently Asked Questions

These are picked from facebook, and hopefully the answers satisfy!

Q:What kind of corset looks best on someone with larger hips/belly and smaller chest? Underbusts, well, ride up and flatten, but overbusts are usually way too big on top, even with a padded undergarment.

A: Sorry, but underbusts are THE CLEAR answer here. Always wear a good bra with a snug band and lots of padding on the underside, no matter WHAT size you are. I think girls with H cups should still wear a bit of padding on the underside of their breasts. I'll have to do a whole entire blog on this, I'm so passionate.  It's not about being bigger,  it's about shaping and proper cleavage.


Q:What is the weirdest compliment you've gotten?
Ever have odd commission requests?

A: I THINK it's a compliment, but it's always REALLY odd when women come up to me,

squeeze my breasts with both of their hands, and ask if they're real. What the HECK, ladies. 

As far as odd commissions, I've gotten requests from male Britney Spears impersonators, as 

well as one woman who was 6 months pregnant...with TWINS, and wanted a corset for 

Halloween. I kept asking her to remeasure herself because her waist seemed so differ-

ent from her chest. I finally figured out why.... *sigh*




Q:What is the perfect sized woman?  

A: Why the heck not? I'll just offend every woman out there. My favorite body shape, for me personally, is this one right here. Everyone is SOOO different on this. I think the most important thing to point out is that EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN TASTE! The media constantly wants to shove unattainable, impossibly body images into our brains, and we'll never be satisfied with ourselves. Ever.  My sister-in-law, Jill has pretty much my favorite body shape, but she's trying to lose weight all the time, even though my brother thinks she's hot (something we have in common, Toby! Woo!)  I HONESTLY do meet men who prefer curvier girls, and there are guys who will only date tiny ones. It just proves that there is not ONE type that is attractive. I MOSTLY like it when women have bodies that they can be proud of. That shines through as more attractive than anything else ever possibly could! 

Q:"What is the best comfort food for a fabulous corsetier on the go?"

A: At our last festival, we ate the crap out of the Tillamook mini cheeses. I like things that make me feel light, because HOLY CRAP, you can feel EVERYTHING you eat when you're wearing a tight corset!! I drink tons of water, and I never eat carbs when I'm in a corset. Once again,  it's the heavy feeling. Kicks my bum.


Q:I would want to know the best/least damaging ways to wash all my lovely Damsel gear.

A: I got MANY versions of this question. I want you guys to know that I FINALLY got "care and feeding of your corset" cards printed out, and we'll be sending them out with every package and handing them out to all of our customers at festivals.   The basics are
*HAND WASH IN COLD WATER  *USE ALL THE DETERGENT YOU EVER WANTED  *HANG UP TO DRY, AND IRON THE DICKENS OUT OF THEM!!!

Q: Why can't I tell when I'm hungry or not when wearing a corset? I end up eating too much and not feeling full. I think this is weird! Shouldn't it be the opposite??

A: HOLY JUNK! I know, isn't this a FREAKY thing? I can't EVER tell when I'm  hungry, and I"ll go the whole stupid day without eating, which I NEVER do. I'm pretty much obcessed with food, and think about it all the dang time.   When I DO eat, I'm the same. I eat too much, but I can't feel a thing. I think corsets are such a different physical thing than we're used to, that our minds concentrate on how they feel compressing our bodies, and we just can't feel our stomachs and their needs. The other freaky thing?  You CANNOT shiver in a corset. When you get cold, your natural body response is to shiver, get the blood flowing, burn calories, and warm yourself up with movement. In a corset...you can't. Soooo ODD. 


Q: If you had to choose between Edward and Jacob.. which one would you kill first?

A: I would tie them both up and make them do glowing reviews of my corsets for advertisement. Hey, I'm a business woman. 




Q:What celebrity would look best/ would you like to see in one of your corsets?

A:Jennifer Ehle is IMPOSSIBLY beautiful! She has my favorite face of any human being. 

Q: what's the easiest way to pee in full garb and/or how do I get my undies/nylons/shorts back up under there?

A:Honestly, I just need to write a WHOLE ENTIRE POST on going to the bathroom in corsets. Ladies, please for the love of everything good and decent, just LOOSEN THE LACES! When you tie them so the bow is at the bottom, you can just loose the very bottom, so that you can sit down on the dang toilet and reach...uh...your "hootinanny".  Do your business, tuck everything back up, hobble out to the mirror, and pull the laces tight again. They don't need to completely unlace, just LOOSEN. If I need to make a freaking video, I will!!!  Don't think I WON'T!   *Oh, also, this is another great thing about front-lacing corsets. You actually CAN do it. 




Q: You have 1 hour in the most glorious fabric warehouse in the world. You have a map that tells you where things are. At the end, you can take out whatever you can carry, regardless of price, absolutely free, but you MUST craft with it FOR YOURSELF. What do you prioritize, and what do you make?

A: If I could just find a freaking freaking FREAKING solid black and white striped jacquard with the correct thickness for corsets, that's all I ever need. I've been looking for...only...9 years, and I've never been able to find the correct thickness, in a basic stripe, for a good price, wholesale.  I know, how boring. It's just that I get the question for this fabric all the time, and the answer is eternally "No". 

Q:  Is it possible to make a corset that makes a tummy look flatter?

A:There is NO way that the dear lady who posted this question has EVER worn one of our corsets. That's the whole point. Instant flat tummy.  I mean, your tummy will be UNDER the corset....there's no way for me to make a cropped corset that will automatically flatten your tummy....but wouldn't that be great? 

Q:true or false? ladies with a shorter frame do better with a combo of underbust corset and separate piece on the top

A: It would solve ALL of my problems if women were more willing to go the two-piece corset route. It's soooo much easier to fit these, just because women are so drastically different from top the bottom. However, selling people on the concept and educating them is very  hard.  Most women just want one dang thing to lace on, and I understand! 

Q:  my rib cage is prominent and sometimes when I cinch down my corset it rubs my pokey-outie rib (regardless of how much weight I do or don't have at the time) and sometimes my hip bone. should I wear a thicker material for my undergarment or pad with some soft, resilient thing like a plug of wool or what?

A: So, I have a MASSIVE rib cage, and I've spent years smashing it down with corsets. My ribs are bruised after every show, and tender for about a week after.  My ribs just simply flare out at the very bottom and get rubbed against all day. I wish I had an answer for you here. Softer boning would help, but it would also bow out when you sat down, make your belly not as flat, and ...just....not be as..uh...goodish?   Sorry, I have no answers here. 

How New Patterns Get Introduced

 I've had some facebook discussions on this today, but I figured it would be good to immortalize these guys into a blog, and that way I can look back at this and laugh at  how far the pattern has come. That's how it always goes. Anyhow, the top pattern is actually the second version of this guy (the pictures loaded backwards.)   If you look below, you can see the first version.   The red version is incorporating the idea of d-rings for adjustability in the back, as opposed to the grommets from below.

The WHOLE idea  here was to have two different WIDTHS of grommet placement so the shoulders could not only adjust higher and lower, but also wider or narrower. I got a lot of comments about how the back didn't look finished, look "right" and so forth. I totally agree.  That's why the dang thing is a PROTOTYPE!!!!!! It's not....um...finished. ;)   I didn't mean to make the shoulder straps this short. They were supposed to reach down a  little more.

Anyhow, the appeal here is completely selfish on my part. I have realized that women are DRASTICALLY different through the shoulders, and that is a serious  problem on nearly every structured piece of clothing out there. I love the idea of being able to adjust this stuff right there in person, giving a more customized fit at the festivals.

P.S. The collar lays differently with grommets...I like the way this collar lays better. I SWEAR the collar patterns are the exact same. I know. I did the cutting.

Creativity, the Harsh Mistress

"Hmm....it's probably not good that I'm being eaten alive. Meh, there's nothing I can't do. I don't WANT to do anything. I might as well give up. Nothing I try seems to work anyway. *insert more foolhardy depression junk here*"

          I discovered a fascinating study that had been done on the link between creativity and mental disorders this morning as I was working on "self improvement" hour. I had been listening to a podcast by some local authors http://www.writingexcuses.com/  and it was really interesting because they spoke very frankly about depression and other mental disorders that they had had to face in their careers. Honestly,  the part about creativity possibly breeding depression really spoke to me.  Basically, I wake up every morning angry, overwhelmed, defeated, and passive aggressive about everything in the whole entire universe. In order for me to not be COMPLETELY overtaken by a monster similar to the one above, I've been trying to exercise some serious mental self-discipline, but HOLY junk IT'S HARD! 

      There's all these rumors that circulate around Utah about how we're the highest consumers of anti-depressants in the nation, as well as the biggest customers for breast implants, cosmetic surgery, and hair removal. Now, I'm not SURE if this is all true, and quite frankly, I'm a bit concerned about what I would find if I googled the information. Suffice it to say, that if you drive to Salt Lake from where I live, the billboards would certainly seem to agree with the myths, true or false.   It's just that, for some reason, our culture, in particular seems to put some SERIOUS pressure on women to be perfect.  I've often wondered if it's the same in the rest of the country, and I'm just not  noticing, because I only happen to be visiting other places to do festivals, so I only meet the awesome renaissance-faire goers. 

     Whatever the actual truths, I think everyone would agree that we live in a very tough world. And heck, I hardly know a single family that hasn't been affected by job loss, setbacks, pay-cuts, and demotion type stuff in the last few years.    I know very few women who don't deal with body issues at least on SOME level.   In the midst of all of this, I always feel HORRIBLY guilty for even feeling an ounce of disappointment with where I currently am. I have been so blessed to have an incredible husband, good kids, a pretty successful company, and marvelously loyal customers. It feels like an absolute betrayal to feel any depression.

      Yet, I wake up, I take a look at facebook, and those gross, hideous, negative running narratives start. I'll take a look at the wonderful supportive customer group on the "swap-meet" page, and I'll see a post about a customer that doesn't like how her bodice makes her look and feel, and instead of thinking logically and perhaps trying to figure out a creative solution, I feverishly indulge in reading all of the other comments, and then continuing on with my own wretched dialogue in my brain. It goes to  a REALLY  bad place in a hurry. "Gee, Michelle, you set out to make women feel better, and you end up making them feel worse. Applause.  Most likely all of these women are all going to tell all of their friends ever, and then all of them will hate you and talk about you behind your back. They're going to make whole entire facebook groups just for hating you and talking about how you've disappointed  them.  They're all going to start buying things from people who makes similar things to yours. You'll stop making anything and have to fire your employees, who will resent you for your poor management. Your husband will leave you and take the kids because he's so disgusted at how much of a failure you are. You'll only be able to afford ramen  noodles, and your body will go to crap, and you'll go and live with your parents on their farm, where they'll make you clean dishes and milk the goats, as they hang their heads in shame."

       Yeah...that's pretty much what it sounds like. All of that from one little comment. Why in the HELL would my brain go there?? First off, it's completely selfish and egotistical. To think that I matter that much, and that I have that much power is downright idiotic.  Also, where is the part of my brain that needs to be the LOUD one that says, "Hey Michelle, unhappy customers are a fantastic opportunity to examine your company and see how you can better serve people!  Because you're resilient  and creative, and strive very  hard to be compassionate and understanding, the good customers will see that and appreciate you all the more."   And honestly, that's exactly what happens. When I go to festivals, people are always taking me by the shoulders and saying, "Hey, you're way too hard on yourself!"    But holy heck, I don't feel like I'm the one inventing these indulgent self-criticisms!    I'm not NEARLY creative enough to come up with this sort of negative rabble! I almost feel like it comes, unbidden, out of nowhere, latches itself onto every little piece of happiness in my brain, and then festers away. 

       Let me make it clear that I REALLY don't like to talk about this stuff. I had a very wise manager at the wedding dress shop where I worked that told me to always keep everything between the customer and me POSITIVE. She told me to refrain from even saying negative things about other crazy brides, because even though the subject was not about the current customer, that very same customer might only take away the negative and NOT retain the postive. I've found that in my own experience! If I'm talking to someone working retail, and they say anything even slightly slanderous about the company for which they work, it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  And goodness knows, I don't like to be vulnerable and show people my failings. I very much fancy the idea of being some kind of pseudo corset celebrity that is always perfect, just like the Utah billboards tell me to be. ;) 

        Therefore, I don't like being honest and frank about some of the down-sides of entrepreneurship and owning a company, because I don't want you guys to take away a negative feeling!  Goodness knows I haven't always succeeded there. I've received plenty of hate-mail and malicious comments over foolhardy things I've said in the heat of the moment, and I've deserved a lot of it. If I made you take away a really gross feeling, then it's definitely my responsibility, and there's only so many times that someone will forgive a company.   We live in this whole entire world on the internet where everyone  is a critic, everyone has a strong opinion, and nobody suffers repercussions for blasting others to smithereens! You can hide behind anonymity and slowly crumble down the whole world until their down on your level. It's the cool, hip thing to do. 

  

      I've got to say, the very IDEA of spending my valuable time finding faults in others and pointing them out publicly is woeful.  (Wait, this is one of those ironies, where I'm saying mean things online about the people who say mean things online. OH, junk.)  I mean, I know what the angry, vicious voice of depression feeds me, and I have an incredibly hard time bouncing back from that.  To take that same kind of energy and hurtle it at friends, family, and  unsuspecting victims......Yikes, we do live in a scary world. 

      This really doesn't have a conclusion. Usually I like to wrap these up in a nice little life lesson, but I've just got nothing. I don't want a bunch of positive comments here.......for the LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND DECENT, please go and spread some joy and kindness to the people around you who need it. Find someone who you haven't talked to in a long while, and instead  of throwing something on their facebook wall or tagging them in your own status, give them a call....go out to dinner, do SOMETHING real!! The world beats us up. We beat ourselves up. Our jobs kick us hard, and then continue to kick us while we're down. Creativity sneers at you as she challenges you to get our of your comfort zone and stop defeating yourself before you start.  Go out there and show Creativity who is boss.....hopefully that's you and me. 

Behind the Scenes-The Glamour! The Intrigue!!

This is me struggling to get my corset on the second day of FaerieCon. For some reason, I was absolutely sick a s a dog. I had to go into our "back room" and lay down. 

            I always thoroughly enjoy it when people think that vendors lead glamorous lives "on the road". I've had the good fortune to get to know a lot of vendors "behind the scenes" and while they're still fascinating, they most certainly NOT rock stars.   I'm pretty sure that if my sensational customers saw me and my helpers FIVE minutes after the show ended, they would be shocked at how bedraggled, grimy, and crusty we are. We immediately pull of the hats, unlace the corsets, pack the jewelry, and throw on jeans and t-shirts. I'm not smiling and happy. I'm frantically packing, yelling PG rated profanities, and muttering under my breath as I struggle with the dolly loaded with rubbermaid bins.

So, this is the GORGEOUS view of Seattle from out of our little window in the back room of our booth. 

           We DO get to see some amazing places, but for the most part, we don't go and experience them. My  husband sometimes has free time while we're lacings girls up at shows, but for the most part, he's just bored without me (I know! Can you blame him??). When we had little kids and babies, he would take them for the whole day, pushing around strollers, going to children's museums, and being hit on at the McDonalds Playplace, seeing as he looked like a hot single dad.

OH, yes please. These macaroons LITERALLY got us through the day. Every time we would start to wilt, we would step back and throw one down. They seriously kept us going. 

           Now, my CUSTOMERS, definitely give me celebrity treatment. I mean, I didn't exactly expect the macaroons, and yet, there was a hotel delivery for us. It was REAL. Seriously, Liz, shoot me an email. I have some GOODIES for you. Whatever you want forever.   OH, and JUNK! I should have taken a picture of the loot that Kristen brought me on behalf of the Damsel facebook groups! Thank you tremendously, ladies. You guys are literally the only truly glamorous part of my job!

This is my "Boo" Bag. If you ever meet any member of my immediate family, you'll notice that none of them call me "Michelle", they all call me Boo. That was my nickname ever since I can remember, and there's only a select few people that can call me that. Anyhow, this is how I CRAM my costumes together before shows. I never try to have complete outfits. I purposely make everything so it mixes and matches as hideously as possible. 

                  You know how when people put on masks for Halloween, balls, or masquerades, they tend to act differently than they would in normal life? They can hide behind whatever they're wearing and let loose a little. I feel like the corsets are some breed of this phenomenon. When I put my corset on, I can talk to anyone, I'm not self conscious, I KNOW my body looks as good as it possibly can, and I'm not intimidated by strikingly beautiful people. However, if you ever come up to me early at a festival, and I'm NOT all put together, I might be sort of a bum-head. I don't do it on purpose, it's just that it takes a LOT of self-motivations, mantras, and affirmations to get me going for the day.

A view of our beautiful racks of corsetry! This much stock takes a LONG time to produce. 

        In the end, it's not that we DON'T have awesome jobs, because we certainly do! I'm honestly glad that people mostly get to see all the good sides of our company, and we keep the negative junk pretty well under wraps....well, except for when I go on angry rants. Still, I suppose the important thing to remember is that every single job, no matter how epic it looks, has its horrendous stresses, boredom, bad days, and struggles. We're just lucky that the good parts MORE than overshadow the crap parts.
          As always, thank you to all of you who make my job possible. We have been in business NINE years, and I hope to be in business when I'm 80, thank you very much. ;)