The Past and The Future

Sometimes I think that the past holds the key to almost everything we want in the future!! For instance, I was using dull little scissors to cut out clothing for my Barbies LONG before I ever hopped onto a sewing machine to make a corset.  I was happily roaming around craft festivals YEARS before I even knew that Renaissance Faires existed.  And in both of those instances, I can clearly see how I was gently guided by the Universe so that I would have less resistance later on in my life when I wanted to do this for a living.

One of my favorite examples of this phenomenon is actually found in my children!  You see, my fourth kid, all the way there at the end, is a little girl named Lark Emmaline. She came to me when I was 15 years old. Not physically, though. I was working on a blueberry farm, and it was a breathtaking morning, with dew on the grass, big ripe berries, a light breeze, and the smell of the rich soil, mulch, grass, and produce! I was jamming out to Alanis Morrissette on my little Walkman and something compelled me to stop the music.  I hit the little plastic button, and when I looked up, I saw this little bird hop over and tilt its head and look pointedly at me. I think I may have asked it what it wanted, and it pecked the ground and then flew away.

Sure, just a normal situation. Birds appear all the time. But, it got me thinking. I thought about how graceful and spirited birds were. I thought about how I loved watching the multitudes of birds fly around on the farm where I lived. I imagined how cool it would be to one day have some beautiful little children and to name them all after birds!  Wow! Robin, Raven, Drake, Lark! There was wonderful names in there!  That idea lodged inside of me, and whenever I thought about it in the future, it was a pleasant thought.

Fast Forward 17 years later.  Guess What? I didn't exactly get ALL bird names for my kids. I forgot that if I had a husband, he might have something to say about it. But, I DID get one little Lark, all the way at the end. I knew she was coming. I literally had no doubt. I didn't sit there and worry about it. I didn't beat myself up because it wasn't coming fast enough. I was in no hurry. I just had a peaceful, calm, yet excited knowing that she was coming.   Oh my heavens. If I could have that feeling with EVERYTHING that I want in life, I think I would tear a hole in the space time continuum!

The point is, I truly think that we, ourselves are the obstacles that stand in the way of what we, ourselves, WANT!  So many times, I imagine something that I want, or see something that sparks a desire in me, and then I immediately go to work trying to put out that spark.  "No, you haven't been able to achieve that in the past. There's no reason you should be able to get it now!"     "Other people get lucky and get things like that, but that's not how you are."    "I can't...I'm too old, too tired, too big, too small, too fat,  too, too, too, too, too."

And yet, imagine how it would feel is you felt that desire, and then you allowed it to come to you, as opposed to blocking it.  I mean, I'm lucky enough to know how this feels.  Look at my kids up there. I wanted a Lark. I got a Lark. I actually wanted 4 kids. I got those. I didn't worry about whether or not my body would be able to have them. I just sort of.....allowed it. I didn't force it. I didn't worry about it.

Friends, you can feel if you are trying to force something to come to you. It's always accompanied with worry, strain, stress, confusion, and over-damn-thinking until your brain feels like it's going to explode.  You'll feel like you've absolutely got to "figure it out" right now. Sometimes it gets so bad that you just want to shut down and give up. Sometimes you do.

On the flip side, you can tell when something is coming to you. You feel excited. You feel enjoyment. You feel NO need to yell at people on the internet or criticize yourself or eat cake until you can't move.  There is this joy, and I can hardly even explain it with human words.  But, boy howdy, you HAVE to find a way to get rid of the negative energy surrounding the subject and causing you fear.

Please, take from my story and see if you can allow something to happen in your life. We all want to vibrantly succeed. We all have desires, and I strongly feel that those desires want US too. Allow. Receive. Enjoy.