Thursday, May 6, 2010

Crappy Boning Expo 2010

You may be seriously confused at what you're seeing. First off, why in the freak is that stupid look on my face? Second, what the crap do I have on my body? (Am I committing adultery with another corset besides my own??)Third, why is this corset awkwardly chopping the line of my breasts in half and squishing my extra jigglies out of the bottom (although, you can't see it very well.) Here's the story. I was at my renaissance festival this last weekend, and a lady came in wearing this "corset" (if you can even call it that.) On her, the boning in the back looked like the side of a lasagna noodle and looked as slithery as a snake. Plus, she said it was really painful. We quickly got her out of it and into one of mine, where the relief was palpable, and the sex appeal went up 60 points instantly!

She asked if anything could be done with this one. It's one where the corset was advertised as being a "steel boned" corset....which is technically true because it DOES have two pieces of average steel up the front. However, the rest of it is boned with about 10 or 12 horrible wobbly plastic bones. Look at the picture up above! That is me folding half of the corset up! That is NOT a good sign. I'm always trying to preach this concept to my customers-Just because it says it is boned in 40 places doesn't mean that those forty places will end up holding you in and looking good. There's even varieties of steel boning that are completely useless, in my opinion. I could go on and on about this subject, but I need to finish this up so I can keep sewing more corsets for this weekend.

Anyway, so here's the back. It was uncomfortably short, making my love handles poke out the back in an exaggerated manner, and the boning just bent all to heck (as you can see in the pictures below). The seams in this were very straight...as in "NOT CURVED" like a woman's body should be. And....oh yuck! I never had any idea my hair looked like that from the back...oh boy.....Anyway, the other thing is that when you have something laced up your back, it puts a tremendous amount of strain on it. Now, granted, I have been having serious back problems all week because I've been so stressed out and tense, but this corset honestly made my back hurt worse.

Bleh! Look at this! It bends side to side and in and out away from the body! I'm about to take this to my sewing machine and perform surgery on it and see if new life can be breathed into it, but no matter what I do, it will still be a fairly unflattering pattern. I didn't feel like a seductress in it....I felt sort of cheap and "blah". I'm not sure how much this corset originally cost, but I'm guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of $60 to $100. It has a tag proudly sewn in that states its origin as "China". Am I surprised? Not really.
I'm not saying everyone has to purchase my corsets (although, it would be REALLY swell if you all did.) but PLEASE don't go for something like this. It will give you a bad taste in your mouth for corsets and you'll end up thinking of them as uncomfortable booby traps (yes, pun intended.)


  1. Oh, that's an... interesting "corset". Having worn and bought a multiples of yours, I kinda want to cry for that poor woman's back if she was actually wearing that in any sort of heat. (Ha ha, we just got to 90 degree weather again...) It has some lovely design elements, like the sheer ruffle on the top, but yes, back lacing, ill-fitted, cheap boning corsets are a thing of my past. :3 And I'm happier (and va-va-voom-ier, ha ha) for it.

  2. I just went through my lingerie drawer and chucked all my cheap-o corsets that I had purchased here and there over the years.

    Hubby: "What are you doing?!"

    Me: "These things are crap. I only wear Michelle's corsets now."

    Your corsets are like the dominatrixes of the corset world. Absolutely top quality!

    (My "word verification" for this comment is "flusi" haha!)

  3. I love your passion for what you do, and I am SO looking forward to receiving my first Damsel bodice. (No pressure, honest!)

    Asian women tend to be smaller busted; if it was made in China, maybe they just didn't realize the necessity of back support.

  4. Bahahaha I OWN several of these :P mainly for dress up parties so that my good ones don't get ruined by drunken miscreants. You can't even sit down in them! the front buckles and when you stand up you're left with this bubbled boning at the front that doesnt go away. Ever. Luckily..I only paid somewherein the vicinity of $25 -$50 dollars for mine =]

  5. Also. I believe I've asked you this before but, can we request an older design??

  6. Ugh. UGH. Absolutely hideous. Atrocious even. When I got married, I got several "corsets" like this for lingerie. And honestly, I barely ever even use them for that! They give me no shape and they're horrific to put on.

    At a faire this weekend, several people asked my sister-in-law and I about our bodices. We advertised you like crazy! I even wrote down your etsy site for one woman! She was so excited to check you out!

  7. Bleh. The shortness in the back reminds me of one of my bodices from Faire. I mean...it's a really great bodice and well made, I've worn it for several years. But it's a bit shorter in the back than the front and on someone who doesn't have as much extra around the hips as I do (ahem)...it would probably fit fine. On me, however, the bottom of the boning tends to dig in and be irritating. I can deal with it, but after a while I just want to rip the thing off. Plus it's done in a "Tudor" style so I look sort of...upsidedown cone shaped (which isn't a fault of the bodice, just the style).

    Anyway, while I've had it for a while and I like it, since I've gotten a couple of your designs, I realize how much more I like them and how they fit me. I think I'll be replacing it soon with one of yours.

    Basically: you rock. :)

  8. Your corsets are amazing!

    I was so thankful I bought one. They look SUPER sexy, but that doesn't even compare to the feel. I love a strong corset that you can lace so tight and then at the end of the day let them out and feel that "Ahhh" feeling of relief.

    I never realized a corset could hold you in so well and make feel so good. :)

    Thank you for preforming surgery. I did wear it once after surgery, but I found myself still MISSING your corset and going back and wearing the month of Ren Faire instead. LOL.

    I will be buying more next Faire and I have sworn off buying any corsets from anyone but you!

    Your corsets are the only ones who understand my crazy body style. lol. It was nice to feel like my old "pre-baby" days.