So...is Santa sexy?

My sister, Emma, and I were talking on the phone today trying to figure out how Santa made his way into the lingerie world. So.... the executives at Victoria's Secret were sitting around in their board room at the oversized table throwing around ideas when one of them gasped, straightened his glasses, and exclaimed,"I've got it! Why don't we base some lingerie pieces on a fat guy that only works one night a year??? No one believes in him, he lives on a diet of cookies! He's the poster child for sex appeal!" All of the other men in suits shook their heads up and down with furrowed brows and said, "Yeah, it's perfect. Just the stuff women love."

Maybe it's all because of that damn "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" song. It's all cute and funny when you know that the allusions to the man in the red suit and pointing to DAD dressed up as Santa, but when you're an ignorant little kid thinking about her mom ACTUALLY macking on Santa...it's not pretty. If mom was going to have an affair, why the crap would she pick him? I hated singing that song as a kid at our Christmas concerts. There's me, this awkward little freckled thing standing up on the back row behind the girls with stiff red flocked velvet dresses and large bows in their ringlet hair. Their overbearing, controlling parents are on the front row video-taping them (by the way, none of those girls could carry a tune in a bucket) while I concentrate on not locking my knees and wondering about what Santa could have possibly said to get my mom to kiss him. Eeewwww.

So, back to the subject at hand. If I show up in my bedroom with a sheer red baby-doll dress trimmed out in fur and a novelty Santa hat, am I going to make my husband's cheeks rosy and put a sparkle in his eye? Honestly, it might work..... as long as there was a large patch of white fur right over my stretch marks and love handles that will never ever melt off no matter what I do. But still, if I'm dressed like Santa, won't he automatically think of a fat guy? No, wait! MAYBE the key is that he thinks about how fat Santa is and then looks at you and realizes how great your body is in comparison. Ooooh...I can see that working.

The real point here is that I'm going to put together some GENUINELY sexy red corsets that will have fur-trimmed pieces that are REMOVEABLE so you'll have a sexy red corset that you could wear for Christmas and afterwards. Also, I wanted to make some very cute and flirty elf inspired outfits, which is why you see me and my daughter in the hat up above. I wore this hat for about an hour and a half today while sewing, and I've got to say-I love the dang thing.

Thus, if you have any great holiday corset ideas that you are wanting to purchase, let me know. I'm not going to spend TOO much time on it, because I'm still unsure about how many women actually dress up in festive sex wear for Christmas.... ***Trying furtively to think of some way to make a bad pun on Santa, sex appeal, and Ho, Ho, Ho....***** Meh, I give up.