Wednesday, November 17, 2010

So...is Santa sexy?

My sister, Emma, and I were talking on the phone today trying to figure out how Santa made his way into the lingerie world. So.... the executives at Victoria's Secret were sitting around in their board room at the oversized table throwing around ideas when one of them gasped, straightened his glasses, and exclaimed,"I've got it! Why don't we base some lingerie pieces on a fat guy that only works one night a year??? No one believes in him, he lives on a diet of cookies! He's the poster child for sex appeal!" All of the other men in suits shook their heads up and down with furrowed brows and said, "Yeah, it's perfect. Just the stuff women love."

Maybe it's all because of that damn "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" song. It's all cute and funny when you know that the allusions to the man in the red suit and pointing to DAD dressed up as Santa, but when you're an ignorant little kid thinking about her mom ACTUALLY macking on Santa...it's not pretty. If mom was going to have an affair, why the crap would she pick him? I hated singing that song as a kid at our Christmas concerts. There's me, this awkward little freckled thing standing up on the back row behind the girls with stiff red flocked velvet dresses and large bows in their ringlet hair. Their overbearing, controlling parents are on the front row video-taping them (by the way, none of those girls could carry a tune in a bucket) while I concentrate on not locking my knees and wondering about what Santa could have possibly said to get my mom to kiss him. Eeewwww.

So, back to the subject at hand. If I show up in my bedroom with a sheer red baby-doll dress trimmed out in fur and a novelty Santa hat, am I going to make my husband's cheeks rosy and put a sparkle in his eye? Honestly, it might work..... as long as there was a large patch of white fur right over my stretch marks and love handles that will never ever melt off no matter what I do. But still, if I'm dressed like Santa, won't he automatically think of a fat guy? No, wait! MAYBE the key is that he thinks about how fat Santa is and then looks at you and realizes how great your body is in comparison. Ooooh...I can see that working.

The real point here is that I'm going to put together some GENUINELY sexy red corsets that will have fur-trimmed pieces that are REMOVEABLE so you'll have a sexy red corset that you could wear for Christmas and afterwards. Also, I wanted to make some very cute and flirty elf inspired outfits, which is why you see me and my daughter in the hat up above. I wore this hat for about an hour and a half today while sewing, and I've got to say-I love the dang thing.

Thus, if you have any great holiday corset ideas that you are wanting to purchase, let me know. I'm not going to spend TOO much time on it, because I'm still unsure about how many women actually dress up in festive sex wear for Christmas.... ***Trying furtively to think of some way to make a bad pun on Santa, sex appeal, and Ho, Ho, Ho....***** Meh, I give up.


  1. Michelle, I love the way you think. And I adore that elf hat! I hated the "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" song too.

    As for corsets, I hope you're not going to leave green out of the lineup? Or maybe the less traditional colors of Christmas, like ivory and dark blue, or even a rich plum color. I love dark purple hues.

  2. I don't know about sexy Santa, but I have been wanting a snowflake inspired corset forever!

  3. I love the hat! Oh, and I would dress up... I think of my self more as a sexy Mrs. Claus. Hey, someone has to keep Santa warm up there. ...

    I'd love a sexy piece that I could wear with a cute full knee length skirt for holiday parties, but then dressed up festively for alone time... :)

  4. I think my husband always looked at it as a sexy Mrs. Claus kind of appeal. Perhaps you know back when the real Mrs. Claus was in her youth? I don't know, lol

    What I do know is I look forward to seeing what you come up with!

  5. I love winter! I love Christmas! I love dressing up when it's dark, cold, there are parties, it's "ok" to wear red! Dark greens, burgandies, fur-trimmed everything (browns, greys, greens, blacks!) Wool-coat style corsets with fur trim: I'd buy 3 (you know I'm not joking). I just love anything inspired by vintage victorian Christmas!

  6. I'd buy the hat from you for sure. I'd love a snowflake corset! Elf corset, sure! I trust you - your stuff is always beautiful and i pretty much want everything that you make... go for it.

  7. I think we can blame Maralyn Monroe and her "Santa Baby" song for making Santa Sexy.

    I think your corset idea is fabulous, but all your corsets are fab--even the ones that don't have optional fur trim.

    p.s. remember a certain cousin of yours who sang that song at a church Christmas program?? That memory both horrifies me and sends me into crazy gales of laughter every time I think of it. :P

  8. I've always wanted an icicle corset! Or a candy cane striped corset... I agree Santa is not a sexy image neither is Mrs. Clause to me after the Mrs. Clause movie with Angela Lansbury. *shudders*

  9. I agree with Leah Ketchum.

    I also think that you don't have to stick to just red.

    Perhaps an off the shoulder kinda look with an overbust corset?

    Something that can switch between elegant and sexy is nice.

  10. Please tell me you are going to be selling those hats this xmas season!

  11. I am so excited for that elf hat!! I want one!! ^_^

  12. Ideas:

    * Holly
    * Mistletoe
    * Bells
    * Ribbons
    * [As someone said above] Snowflakes
    * Diagonal stripes
    * Antlers! And red noses!
    * Icicles

    That's what I think of at Christmas. I don't know if any of that can be of inspiration but there you go. Good luck!

  13. I want an elf hat!! Pleeeease sell the elf hats! I'll buy one, I promise!!! :D

  14. I love the elf hat! You're a brilliant and artistic designer and you constantly amaze me with your creations! I hope you sell the elf hats soon, I love love love them!

  15. That is suuuuuch a cute hat!!

    "I saw mommy kissing santa claus" always annoyed me growing up. I don't remember it that much when I was young and still believed but once I figured it all out I was just annoyed by the whole thing. LOL But I used to hate "Santa baby" with a passion till I got older, now it's one of my favorites. I also second the poster who blames "Santa Baby" for making Santa sexy. hehe. I don't get how Sexy Santas got popular but I figure it must have been the same bozo who decided that all Adult women's Halloween costumes had to look like dress up prostitutes. What is next? Sexy Easter Bunny? Sexy Lady Liberty for the 4th of July? lol

    I love the idea of winter/christmas corsets! If I had the money/figure right now I would so snatch one up when the chance came (not saying that I wouldn't want to when I did have money/figure)! I love the idea of a snow-themed corset with whites and light blue tones. *siiigh* I would wear them all year even after Christmas. LOL

  16. I would DIE for an elf corset and hat with a cute little skirt. But I'm still saving for that Snow White outfit and Robin Hood and I want a pinstripe crossfire...Maybe that fat little man will visit me. But I sure won't be kissing him, well maybe, if he's holding all those corsets...

    <3 Meghan

  17. Can you make little red skirts trimmed in white fir to match? Would be perfect to wear to Seattle Santarchy this year. I haven't gone in the past because I didn't have a "Santa Suit" but it alway sounds like fun. Or I could be an elf to Richard's Santa. I love it!


  18. GlowWorm, The incomparable Earth Kitt originally sang "Santa Baby." It was never recorded by Marilyn Monroe.

    As to Corsets, I love the richer plums and burgundies that you seen in a lot of Victorian Christmas art and cards. Those were always the Christmas colors in my childhood home.

  19. What about the reindeer? OR the snow queens! Or jack frost? I kidd.

    I found this picture once of green plants that had been hit with a sudden frost. They were all frosted around the edges but green toward the center. It gave me the idea that perhaps you should try experimenting with white as a contrast during the coming months instead of black? Here the picture if you get a chance to look: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/130/4/8/winter_explodes__by_m0thyyku.jpg

    This could be a good opportunity to experiment with some paler colors too. That's what I've always thought in winter. Contrast. Of course I'm also a painter so I'm all about the different colors.

  20. Sexy elf/Santa costumes: there are several holiday pub crawls and parties I know of coming up in Portland alone where sexy Christmas-themed outfits are a huge boon. I'm serious. I'm wearing my green peacock-tailed one with stripey socks, knee trousers, a floofy shirt and a hat to do a pirate elf thing for a couple of them. This is what we do, and we can do it because of you. :D (That's a GOOD thing.)

  21. I want a silly elf hat.. oh man... I want one so bad. I'd just randomly wear it and people would be like "oh, it's just that wierdo again." and it'd be awesome!


    Hilariously, my word verification for this post is "unrap" which I find kinda funny.

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