damselcorsets.com

Friday, May 25, 2012

Here's someone you can freaking hate

I am not someone who likes baring my soul for all to see. It makes me extremely nervous. I hardly ever update my facebook status, because of two SERIOUS reasons: 1. I don't want to be one of those people that only post something when they're pissed off of feeling depressed. When you fire all of that negativity out into the world, I believe you breed and nurture and big ugly monster that just devours tears, weaknesses, and failures. The monster gets bigger and bigger and it will consume you.   2. I actually DO NOT want everyone to know how I feel, what I'm thinking, what I just ate, how I slept last night, or what web page I just looked at. I CRAVE my privacy and solitude, and this is coming from someone who is NOT completely a social nitwit.   These two statements make the following passages extraordinarily ironic.


 I have been suffering a lot of depression lately (though I freaking HATE that word. It's such a push-button word, such a swiss-army knife of excuses and self-defeating labels.) and I think my anger and frustration is coming from listening to this whiny little housecoat sally that lives in my brain and eats away at my soul with her frowny little maw.   The pictures and word blocks in this blog are illustrations of REAL things that this little shrieking harpy hisses into my subconscious just when I need positive reinforcement the most. The embarassing part of all of this? I have been LISTENING to her and validating her by repeating her dissenting tirades out loud. Remember that great Monster of Meloncholy that we were feeding with our bombasts on facebook? This voice in my head is like the concierge to this demon, taking the profusions of pessimism, putting them in an ugly rusty bucket, and letting the monster lower its slimy tentacle tongue into the depths and slurp them up with vigor as its crimson glowing eyes shine.  When we feed the monster, it consumes us.
I can't think of a hideous enough name for this little wretch. She is so full of lies, antagonism, and cynicism! She is extremely convincing, taking things that are completely true, and twisting them. She has LITERALLY nearly convinced me to give up on my company. I'm not joking. You can ask my husband. I've been lying there, crying at night, desperately trying to go to sleep while listening to a CONSTANT stream of poison, and I'll ask my husband what we could do with our lives instead of this company. She has twisted my brain so that I blame the company for everything negative in my life, instead of viewing it as a precious blessing to be able to do what I want with my life. She tells me that it's a cage, holding me in, sucking the life out of my lungs. When I get one unhappy customer, she tells me that ALL of my customers are unhappy, bad-mouthing me and my company (which are one in the same) and telling all of their friends to STAY away from buying corsets from us!!  This infinitesimal and irate villain tells me that my product is bad, my creativity is lacking, and the harder I try to succeed, the lower I will stumble into this abyss.
The reason I write all of this is to EXPOSE her. She no longer gets to hide in my head. I'm putting her out into the world for everyone to SEE what a coward she is! I'm going to turn all of her insults right back at HER! Just because she seemingly has my voice doesn't mean she has my essence.  She WAS winning up until now. I'll be honest. I was throwing in the towel, blithely complying, and convincing myself that she was, indeed, right.

She KNOWS that I AM doing something great! I'm on a one-woman crusade to cure THE REST OF THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD from these little BITCHES in their HEADS!  I'm trying with all of my might to help women onto the paths of loving their bodies and being proud of what they have to offer to the world. She doesn't want me to do that. She and her little friends want to feed that great monster so that it can continue to reap destruction on humanity. If these little voices can convince us that we're weak, ugly, fat, worthless, stupid, inadequate, "depressed", lacking,  and hopeless, then we will treat OTHERS that way. We will expect the worst out of people, and that's what we'll get. We'll spew mournful soliloquies out all over our facebook statuses, and people will SEE  that you are listening and hearkening to that voice.  They'll think, "Man, if her voice is right, then mine must be right too!" Suddenly, all of us are bemoaning the fact that we work so hard, stretch ourselves so thin, and feel so fat. Women become a force of negativity instead of a force to be reckoned with!  We become tired, hapless cliches. Our words and actions become stereotypical, flat, and uninspiring. All of this.........because we listened to that voice.

Yup, I was there. I have been there for about the past month, but I'm turning the volume down on the voice, and clawing my way up and out of this hole. I'm sorry to all of my customers if I've let you down while I was listening to the worst part of myself. She doesn't want to help you either. I DO. I, MYSELF, do want to help.   I also would like to plead with you ladies to shut that voice up as well. However you can, whenever you can. It's CRUCIAL. She doesn't have to hold you or me down.  We just have to shut her off. I'm pulling the power plug. Now.

42 comments:

  1. You are AWESOME, your corsets are AMAZING, you make other women (me included) feel FABULOUS, and you are an INSPIRATION. Don't listen to that biotch. Lord knows I don't listen to mine, which is why there are cracker crumbs stuck to the bottom of my feet. Follow your passion, you fantastic woman! We'll be right there with you. <3

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  2. Good for you. My cute wife Jana has two of your corsets now and not only do I love how she looks in them, I love even better how she feels about her self in them. You are doing good, keep it up, don't let the voices (that we all hear) get you down.

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  3. You tell that little harpy to go away. You're work is amazing and beautiful. She's just jealous because you have all the glory. Feed your talent and it will grow.

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  4. It makes me sad that you listen to the Hate Monster in your head. Here are just a few of the reasons you SHOULDN'T listen to the Hate Monster: 1.)You have so much to offer the world, especially the women in it. 2.)You create beautiful corsets that make people happy. 3.) You are beautiful person, inside and out. 4.) Your customers are all thrilled with your corsets 5.) Those same customers send their friends to you, because you offer a level of customer service that far exceeds that of any other seamstress out there.
    In closing, I would like to say that I hope this helps to validate YOU and go a small way to kicking kicking the Hate Monster in her nasty, hateful butt.

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  5. Good for you! Purge that unhealthy unhelpful little tramp from your head! My friends tout your corsets highly and Im eager to experience your expertise and own a couple of "Damsels" myself! Do what you love, love what you do and you're a lucky lucky person! Stay strong and feel the love.

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  6. Hey there. Even though I have not bought one of your corsets yet, I have been drooling over them for an eternity. In fact, I am thinking of your corsets and other clothes for a wedding dress, when it comes. What you create makes women feel good and you conduct your business in a friendly and professional manner. We and your family love you for who you are. If anyone is asking you to be perfect, well then they can go jump off a high bridge. :P And yes you need to pull the plug on Mr. Negativity. Trust me you are not alone in this. We all need to tell her to STFU! Much love.

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  7. I met you briefly last year at the Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire in Oregon. I was also a vendor, and will be again this year. I just want you to know that I have been saving my pennies and hoping like hell you'll come to our little faire again because I want to try on and buy at least one of those amazing corsets that you make!! I make jewelry, and sometimes I hear that harpy too, but I just keep punching her in the face and telling her to get lost. It isn't easy. I want to feel sexy and look gorgeous in that corset from you, so don't you dare give in! We women need women like you who will stand up and tell us that we are awesome, gorgeous and loved, so that we can turn around and pass on that message! And just in case you had any doubts, you, m'lady, are as freakin' fantastic as they come!

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  8. You go, girlfriend! What is it with this past month or two? I, and quite a few, of my friends have been feeling this way. I'm so proud of you for stepping up through all the mud and muck to take charge of your head. And life. I'm hearin' ya, sweetie!

    Take time for yourself. None of us will go nekkid if we have to wait for a corset a bit longer.

    Hug that sweet baby and snuggle with your man. Everything else can wait a bit...or longer.

    Lisa/Marco the FoOlish Jester

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  9. You're wonderful and amazing. In words more eloquent than I have, here's something you can watch when she comes back to shut her up: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/21/neil-gaiman-commencement-speech_n_1534005.html

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    Replies
    1. That is a GREAT speech and so many of us need to truly listen to it.

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  10. I can really relate to SO much of what you've posted here! I think we all have those little harpies -- that negative self talk -- that undermines us. I am also a small business owner, and I've noticed that my vicious voice seems to get loudest when I am taking risks and trying new things with my art and business. Maybe it's because I am passionate about those things, so there's a powerful mix of joy AND fear involved? Maybe it's because I am trying so hard to soar, and as exhilarating as that is, I'm also kind of afraid that I'll just fall on my face instead? The weaker part of me is terrified, and thus, aims to talk me out of trying at all.

    For me, it helps a lot to just be aware of it -- to "hear" the diatribe, and then step back from it and recognize the source. When I can recognize it as the voice of my fear and insecurity, I am able to detach from the sting of it, and examine those fears a bit more logically. I can dismiss the drama and the trauma and decide more clearly if there is any truth to the issue, and actually solve it.

    Anyway, I'm rambling. It was NOT my intent write a little self help novel here ... just wanted to say that you are not alone, and you are very courageous to recognize and write about this. You are also incredibly talented, and I hope that you will trust *that* part of yourself and continue to pursue your dreams.

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  11. DARN IT, WOMAN! I absolutely LOVE YOU. :) You're such a freaking awesome inspiration! So gifted! SO AMAZING! It freaking breaks my heart when I hear you're feeling down on your self in such ways! You're so wonderful! You inspire me EVERYDAY! Even though I never have money to buy your beautiful works I go to look at them just because they make me feel HAPPY. My corset that I have is one of my most treasured posessions! If a tornado was baring down on my home the item I would try to save first would be my corset (and my childhood bear <3).

    Its funny to me that you post this blog entry today. I had a run in with that rotten little headbrat just yesterday. She was getting me down on my artwork. Telling me my ideas were not good enough and no one would ever like them. No one would want to buy my work. Me, being a famous artist? Never in a million years. She constantly tells me this and 9 times out of 10 I listen to her. Yesterday I was about ready to give up on one of my dreams, producing artwork for my favorite festival's poster contest, because she had me convinced that my work was shxt and would never win. I spent all yesterday being worked up over the idea, just wanting to cry. But then I realized...these voices are little demons on our shoulders. They do not want us happy. The most surely do not want us to succeed!! When we succeed with the gifts of talent that god has given us it makes them so angry! They'll do anything to keep us down. A Stupid, angry, bitter, depressed person is so much more easy to control and more fun for them to play with than someone who has pride and joy in their life and is content and successful! We must not let this horrid little monsters get the better of us!

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  12. Michelle I adore you. Your beautiful corsets have inspired my entire wedding, because when I saw myself in those typical wedding dresses, I didn't feel beautiful and I didn't feel like myself. But when I put on your corsets, I feel amazing and beautiful and like myself is something gorgeous. I have lost inches off my waist, and it's no longer because I feel like I'm fat, but because I have taken more pride in my curves. Nothing in my life has ever motivated me to do this in such a positive way, until I met you, read your wonderful blog, and purchased one of your incredible corsets.
    Thank you for being you and making your beautiful corsets that show women an even prettier side of themselves. You have held my hand, and the hands of some of my friends, for this wedding. You go above and beyond for us customers, and for that we are fiercely loyal to you. Just walking around the Oklahoma faires, I see your corsets on so many other women and giggle to myself thinking, "There goes another Damsel."
    So shut that horrible shrew in your head up. In me, and so many others, you have found a lifetime customer, and friend.

    With much love,
    Dani "Your Oklahoma Fangirl Extrodinare" Leyndyke

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  13. Do you know what I do when that vicious harpy starts clawing at my self esteem? When some guy hasn't called back and none of my friends are answering and I've sat at home all day watching TV and eating chocolate ice cream because I refuse to drink alone, and I feel useless and worthless and unloved?

    I go to the grocery store. I go to my bedroom, open up my corset drawer (twelve so far, not counting skirts and that adorable cropped vest), and become damn beautiful. Then I go to the grocery store and hold my head high and strut like I own the place. I pick up some veggies and meat and smile back at all the guys who can't help but stare. I accept the compliments on my outfit with a grin if they come (and they usually do). Then I go home and cook something delicious to nourish my mind and my body, and I think about how great my life is.

    We run the world. Our lives are FANTASTIC, and so are we. You only have to go to the grocery store to see that.

    Good vibes courtesy of Stillwater, OK.

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  14. I am not one to ever post a comment on a blog of any type, but this I cannot keep to myself. I too have been plagued by the same little “wretch” you have for the past couple months, and I understand how you can become subservient to her rants and raves, her lies, her relentless badgering and belittling talk. It gives me great solace to know I’m not alone. With that know, (and I feel you do now) you are very much an inspiration to countless women. Don't Stop! We never realize the impact we have on our family and friends or even strangers, but I'm here to tell you, you have made me smile and feel empowered on more than one occasion. You see the beauty in all women regardless of what the world sees, and it shows and is felt by your words. That’s a gift, and the deceitful voice is your ego trying to steal that light from you. (This is the lesson I have learned in my struggles as well)
    Light and Love to you and to all women who have ever been or will ever be visited, and tortured by the little monster in our heads. Remember she is not our friend; the closer you come to being the amazing soul you are the louder she becomes. And she knows the buttons to push to hurt you with the quickest and most powerful punch. At that moment is when you stand taller, smile brighter, not pushing her down, but pushing her out. No woman has room for her.

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  15. Oh goodness, that little negative Nancy is so bad in all creative types. Every time I sell a copy of one of my stories or I write something new, there's always that little voice (writers call it their internal editor) that tells me it's crap, no one will read it, it's ludicrous, only your mother reads this crap, and on and on. You just have to push it away, tell it to shut up, and shove it in a closet.

    Your corsets are beautiful and comfortable and amazing and I will probably buy another one next spring.

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  16. Doubts are the gnarly tangles of disbelief - and to be any sort of artist or entrepreneur, one cannot let the fungus of disbelief slow-creep into your mind like a dream-killer.

    I fight them always and would champion against them anytime, forever.

    We all have doubts, but I question whether or not they are really mine. Alone, in my art room, creating - I LOVE my work. I love the visions that my mind conjures and the ideas it runs with. It is only when I try to express said visions/creations/ideas with more "down to earth" types that doubt creeps in.

    It is ridiculously hard to keep faith in yourself, especially in a world that greets us with skepticism.

    I have some principles that I try to keep in mind that help me not to feel overwhelmed by banality and disbelief:

    1) Don't tell me why it won't work, help me find out how it *can* work....If people aren't sharing this frame of mind with me, I tend to not engage overlong with them. Problems will always identify themselves, I want to surround myself with intrepid solvers :)

    2) Don't lament challenges or hurdles unless I am also pro-actively doing something about them...people that complain incessantly about the same things and never are doing anything to fix it sap your energy. It is a mire to easy to get stuck in for ourselves, and with others.

    3) Do not accept opinion-based criticism. Accept criticism that has a rationale behind it, and is coupled with suggestions that meet concerns...it is usually a huge sign of fear and jealousy that others are trying to transfer to you, I question it heavily.

    4) When it seems like no one believes that I can realize my dreams, I study or I get to work. The difference between those that do awesome things and those that don't is action.

    You're awesome, you make your dreams real, keep fightin' the good fight because you're not alone :)

    Also, I want to see your wallpaper so I can try to play it on my flute!

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  17. Ballpoint PenguinMay 25, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Men have them, too. I'm a man who has that obnxious David Spade sound-alike in his head... the one who I am ashamed to have listened to when I was getting somewhere with bodybuilding, who asked, in that snide tone, "Who do you think you're kidding, here?"

    When I decided to do something again about my weight, this time, I was ready for him. When he asks, "How did you get into this mess to begin with?" I can tell him, "You were there. You saw. Hell, you actively participated!" And when he asks, "Who do you think you're fooling?" I can point at the drop of 40 pounds, smile, and say, "Evidently, nobody!"

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  18. This is kind of funny because I too have had this nagging, self loathing voice attacking me of late. I've been really disappointed with myself the past year. I put weight back on, have no money, and haven't been able to start school, so since I am just about hitting a year on this I've been against myself the past few weeks. Finally I realized that it was doing nothing for me. This pity party won't get anything accomplished either, so I stuffed her away somewhere and I've started trying again! I think that after I get to where I want to be, a celebratory corset might just be what the doctor ordered. <3

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  19. I am so with you on being private and not liking to whine publicly on FB. Adding negativity out into the world doesn't help. And it usually doesn't make you feel any better anyway. I totally hear you on the negative voice in your head. You are hugely successful and amazingly talented, so it surprises me (though no-one is immune I suppose) that it is also a bane of your existence. I am constantly second guessing my dreams and feel like a colossal artistic failure and end up wasting more time in self pity that could be spent in awesome artistic productivity. I have a failed etsy shop behind me, and a self-published children's book that has pitifully sold in the single digits, and yet am still plugging away on two more. I can always use a reminder to tell the bratty, hateful, discouraged voice in my head to shut the hell up.

    Besides you cannot stop making your gorgeous corset artistry, I will not allow it! I have yet to build my dream custom corset! (it has been in the works in my head and on my amazon wishlist) So I can be beautiful and sexy and go out and conquer the world. You are amazing Michelle, and you will always have loyal and grateful customers who adore you, because you are truly nice and genuinely good and incredibly talented and are trying your best to do the impossible: make everyone happy. The world IS a better place because of you.

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  20. You create wonderful things. Thank you.

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  21. I personally think you should throw a breadstick at the little voice inside your head.. and be like "NO!" heheheh ;) have a good day Miss!

    -Jezkitt

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  22. Tyrannical Piratical TreasuresMay 25, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    Yeah, you need to tell that apathetic b*#ch to take a hike, you're kinda busy making all of us out here beautiful. Tell her for me that if she somehow manages to succeed, and we all have to resort to selling used D in D corsets back and forth to each other on eBay (now THAT is a terrible and depressing thought) until the last are worn out to shreds, I'm gonna find her and crush her into puce powder - don't mess with the girl makin' the fine goods. Just the THOUGHT makes me quasi-hostile! And if she's telling you that running a company makes you a terrible mom? Tell her if she makes you shut down, you're going to drag HER sorry behind to the 9-5 job away from home with you EVERY STINKING DAY, and she can ask your kids how they feel about that! But better yet, just kick that cow to the curb. You are far too bright, talented, sunny, SMART and BUSY to be wasting any of your time with such an idiot. She simply doesn't make any sense! (BTW, kinda feel the same way about any of your unhappy customers. Yeah yeah yeah, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, etc.etc, blahblahblah, ad nauseum. But in MY opinion, if someone is bitchy about any of your goods, they're just idiots too. There. I said it). Hope I scared that nasty green crone. She's scaring ME, and I don't like her messing with folks I care about...or with my corset supply!

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  23. I can tell you right now that we have nothing but great things to say about you at my house- my daughter just did a paper on YOU for her Fashion Strategies class in high school. Keep tuning out Helga the Harpy and tell her to take a Hike. We're not listening to her nastiness over here.

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  24. Hi! I'm not sure if you remember me, but my friend and I talked to you for about 2 hours at the Victorian Fair in Utah. It was fabulous talking to you! I looked at all of your corsets and thought, "I need to save up!" Thanks for being magnificent and super nice. So tell her to shut up and YOU be fantastic!
    -Brittany

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  25. Hello, I'm the Aussie who kept pestering you at Renovation 2011. Can I just say that if you transpose 'corset' for 'poem' you have me in a nutshell. Or did, until I started telling the demons 'thankyou for sharing' and then just kept going. I have also had some excellent theta healing work done to rid myself of these demons and it's worked wonders. I am now hard at work on poems, and a memoir. Take heart, you are doing a fantastic job.

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  26. You are amazing! Your company is amazing! Your corsets make women feel amazing!! Truly! I feel my best and feel like the me I was 10 years ago when I wear them. Please don't ever listen to the monster in your head. I know my monster is a real jerk and it's hard to shut her up. Prayer and your corsets seem to be my relief from the monster that is always telling me I'm not good enough or pretty enough. Know that your customers are more than customers. We are your friends! We see the pride you put into your work and your diligence to making each woman feel their best! We love you, Michelle!

    -one of your many devoted fans, Nicole Rickey

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  27. I have only bought one of your corsets, but I have been lurking and drooling for years. I remember before I had any working knowledge of corsets or renaissance fair garb, being captivated by the singular elegance and uniqueness of your corsets. The front lacing especially always made me think of stylized illustrations in fairytale books.

    Looking at your pictures on your blog and websites, I always want to buy a corset so that i can have a figure like yours. I feel like a fairytale princess or a sleek, sexy steampunk lady in your things, and I often put them on when I'm depressed to give me a shot of my glamorous fantasy life.

    I think we all know how it feels to lurk around blogs of people and companies we love, but not commenting, sometimes even if we feel very connected to what's being said. So, with all the people here, telling you how much they love you and your company, imagine how many more are here, silently thinking the same thing. The mind boggles! One of my favorite uplifting adages: "It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end."

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  28. You are insanely talented and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You and your designs have inspired me so much and I'm in love with everything you design! I sew lots of things (including costumes) but still hope to someday own one of your beautiful corsets. -Whitney from Whitney Sews

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  29. Michelle,

    Thank you. I too have this little B in my head and more often than not I let her win. This was a hard weekend at fair for me and as of the second before I read your blog I was going to quit, which would mean I would not get to work for an amazing woman like you. THE HORROR!!! I love what I do at fair and I love working for you when I do. You have helped me believe and made me a better person. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It helps to know we arent alone.

    Loves you!!!!

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  30. I named my inner wretched wrecking ball. Her name is Veronica. She is the culmination of every negative thought and fear running through my brain.

    Naming her was rather liberating. She gets too loud I can be direct and tell her to shut the hells up. It has made a world of difference. My friends have taken my lead and done the same. I named it - i have the power over it. Tried it with my poofy belly, too. Named the food baby Maurice. LOL

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  31. Michelle, you are amazing, and don't let ANYONE (not even yourself) tell you different! I battle those vicious voices in my head constantly, especially as I'm trying to figure out where my life is going and get to where I want to be. It helps to know that we ladies are not alone, fighting single-handed battles against those demons. You are blessed to have such talent, to get to do what you love for a living, and to have the ability to make dreams come true, for yourself and for all of us. Your work is beautiful and unique, just like you; one of these days I hope to own one of these gorgeous works of art, and that I'll get to see you with them in person at a con or faire!

    <3 Alaina

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  32. I haven't known about you or your work for long. Actually, I just found your corsets Sunday at our local Renaissance Fair. But I DO know that while I was there I got strapped into one of your beautiful, gorgeous, fabulous corsets and I felt AMAZING in it. I also went back to them on four separate occasions after that and simply pined after them. They were ALL gorgeous and everyone there had absolutely everything wonderful to say about them. I plan on buying several of your corsets in the future so keep up the good work!! Please don't let the doubt monster get you down. You are blessed to have gotten to do something you love and doubly that you are also VERY talented at it!! You're wonderful and keep it up!

    <3 Erynn

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  33. You can please all the people some of the time. Some of the people all the time. But you can never please all the people all the time. You know that. We love you...you rock!!!You inspire & create...keep going forward.

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  34. I wish I could just ship you some love and warm fuzzies, but this will have to do. :) I adore my corset from your company, and I plan on buying another one as soon as I drop my waist size a bit more. I also think you are a wonderfully interesting and genuine woman, and I am proud to be considered a loyal customer. Please know that most of us are happy customers, so we don't complain. Best of luck with your business, your life, and your endeavors to squish that nasty little wretch spawned of misbehaving brain chemicals.
    <3

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  35. Michelle,

    I totally understand, its a natural part of being human to question what we do constantly. As women we are raised to be over critical of ourselves by typical media. But I wanted to tell you, I found out about your shop by word of mouth at Ren Fest here in Houston, TX (a place I so wish you'd visit!) and for the last 3 years I've been a huge fan. My first corset by you was perfect and everything else you've made for me with time and careful attention, to help me and all these other women here feel truly beautiful. Please don't stop doing what you do. We believe in you and your dream!

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  36. I just bought my second corset, one can not really have too many corsets, only too few. Yours are the best I have found and I refer anyone looking for a corset to you, and even those who don't know they need one yet. Hugs and rock on lady!

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  37. I'm an ardent reader of your blog, and am waiting anxiously for the day when I will have enough money to buy one of your fabulous corsets, because I know once I do, I will be even more hooked than I already am.

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  38. Crappy customers will always be out there, trying to ruin your day. Don't let them! You have almost 7000 sales on Etsy and probably I'm guessing, that many more on ArtFire, plus everything you've sold at Faires. You ARE a success. You're such a success that you have employees. Your pieces are recognizable and jealousy inducing, to say the least. I wish I could mail you a bunch of hugs and smiles. P.S. be glad the harpy is in your head, not a crappy husband stomping on your dreams. I bet you are an awesome mother!!!

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  39. I am also a working wife and mother. I have a very demanding corporate job that requires me to be away from home for long hours and sometimes travel - missing school drop-offs and soccer lessons. This is my negative self-talk. I know how hard it is to find a balance. My daughter is 4, and I still have no clue where that balance is. I feel like my performance as an employee, mother, and wife is never good enough - not to speak of what is never enough left over for myself. Here's what I cling to and repeat to myself (sometimes through grit teeth): I am doing good work. My contributions make a difference to many people. I am successful. My daughter may not have the same childhood that I had, but that doesn't make it a bad childhood, just different. I am modeling incredible behavior as an empowered woman for my daughter giving her choices in her life (and for any sons that I may have too). I am actively contributing to a better situation for my family every day. I am doing the best that I can.

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  40. I actually just came across your booth at the Scottish Festival in Payson last weekend. I was attracted to the clothing because it's gorgeous, but I was a bit timid about actually trying anything on. Most of the time I feel like a frumpy, 39 year old housewife and it was hard to imagine myself wearing something like that. But you encouraged me to try on a corset. You were incredibly nice and made me feel comfortable, not frumpy or out of place. The corset made me feel beautiful and sexy, and helped me realize that I may actually have an inner damsel after all. Tonight I was bookmarking your website for future reference - because I plan on ordering something soon - and came across your blog. So, I'm commenting because I wanted you to know that the brief interaction I had with you made a difference to me.

    And also, thank you for being so honest in this blog post. I think we all feel this way sometimes, but we hardly ever talk about it. It's nice to know others feel that way sometimes, too. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and just started going back to school. I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough, or disappointing someone in my life. I think I'll read this post every time I feel that guilt thing creep up on me. Thank you.

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