damselcorsets.com

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Salt City Steamfest, and why Conventions ROCK

         ARgggg! Agony! Well,  now I feel sick to my stomach! I wrote what I thought was a harmless little stereo-typing blog filled with light sarcasm, and now I have an army of women and men that hate me. Yikes! I have re-written the blog with apologies in hot pink. Hopefully this color is a peace-making color. I can admit when I'm wrong, and I'm certainly doing it here. After making these amendments I am going to go and cry into my husband's shoulder. 
         This is the show that we're gearing up for this weekend! I'm super excited/nervous/bewildered/hungry about it (I always have to throw hungry in there. I swear, I can throw down a burrito the size of my head without even blinking.).  The thing that I adore about steampunk conventions is that EVERYONE is there, because they ardently, passionately, almost awkwardly adore the genre. This is a  huge difference between ren-fests and conventions. With many renaissance festivals, they are much more of a commercialized, "Come see jousting, cleavage, and eat a turkey leg with your family" type of events. People come there for the spectacle of the nerds. Please PLEASE don't be touchy about being a nerd. I'm trying to change the connotation of the word.  I THOUGHT that "nerd" was the new "cool."  Apparently, I hit a nerve here. Truly sorry.

           Many times I've been standing in my booth, lacing up a customer, and I have a "jock" type guy (By "Jock" I mean the really good looking guys that KNOW they're good looking. I'm so sorry! This is coming from a very weak place. I remember in high school "falling in like" with this type, and I had a friend tell him that I liked him.  Afterwards, I asked my friend how the guy had responded when he was told. Apparently, he said, "Uh....who? Oh, that girl? She's weird." and a "cheerleader" (Once again, coming from a totally shallow, pathetic JEALOUS place. Just because I can't get over my own body issues doesn't mean I should get pissed that some people simply look better than me. Very poor taste. You guys are correct.  type girl walk in (you guys know who I'm talking about. They can still be in their freaking 30's and somehow maintain that facade. I know that I can confidently make fun of this type of people on my blog, because they sure as heck aren't reading it. We're safe here.)(I guess the sarcasm doesn't come through in type. I re-read this, and you guys are correct. I sound like a total bitch. I wouldn't buy things from me either!  . I always turn to them surprised and exclaim, "What are you guys doing here!? You look like popular kids! Don't you know this is nerd haven??  There aren't any lockers to shove us into, and I'm pretty sure we out-number you."I will NEVER EVER EVER say this again. From now on, I will run  my booth like a professional. When ladies come in, I will politely tell them that they can come to me when they desire help, and I will be pleased to grant their request.   They usually laugh and try to tell me that they are not, in fact, "popular kids."  Puh-lease. I can see right through it. Of COURSE, there are hot nerds.  Now, this exchange DIDN'T go that well one of the times, and I think the girl may have cried herself to sleep that night.No, she didn't. The rest of the story that I didn't tell is that she and her friends bought corsets and we talked about Zelda. It's just that she was WAY too pretty, blonde, and blue-eyed to be there.  At least put on a cape and carry a China-made sword from Bud-, why don't you?! I wish there was a punctuation mark for sarcasm mixed with begrudging admiration. OF COURSE I THINK IT'S AWESOME THAT ALL TYPES OF PEOPLE COME TO THESE EVENTS! 
        So, yes, I love conventions. The whole air-conditioned whilst trying on warm costumes thing REALLY works for me. I also like the enthusiasm from the crowd. There are so many inside jokes and undercurrents that even MY geek level needs knocked up a few notches when I go to them. Thus, I wish nothing but success and long life to this one in Salt Lake! We have a surprisingly diversified crowd up there.  And I don't have to worry about seeing any popular kids. The popular kids live there, believe me. 
        Once again, I'm truly sorry that I offended so many of you. It certainly was not my intent whatsoever. I seem to do that a whole lot, and I can assure you that I'm working on knowing better when to shut my mouth and not share my opinions.

89 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, but that was bad form. I am a customer of yours, and yet if I walked into your booth in my street clothing, I'd be greeted like that too.

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    1. I agree with you. Not very polite, you have no idea who those people were. Major bad form, if they're at a Faire or a convention, it's likely they can appreciate everything there. Don't judge a book by its cover.

      I'd be treated the same if I walked into your shop after a day of work...and you'd have definitely lost any money I was intending on spending.

      Delete
    2. Agreed.

      What ever made bullying of any type 'okay?'

      I am not a person who looks like the person you just described, but that doesn't matter. I've purchased and loved your clothing for years, but this post really made me question if I should continue doing so.

      Shouldn't we be spreading more acceptance and 'tolerance?' Though I don't feel I should have to use the word 'tolerance' when referring to how someone dresses or looks.

      Delete
    3. Nice going criticizing Michelle and threatening not to buy from her again all while from the comfort of the name ANONYMOUS. If you really don't like the way she's acting or if you don't think she's worthwhile anymore because of some commentary why don't you grow balls and comment under your name instead of the Wussy handle "Anonymous"? Friggen whiners.

      Delete
    4. I love how the saying 'grow balls,' really makes no sense.

      Testicles are rather sensitive, so I don't see why anyone would want to grow those. Vaginas, though? They're tough.

      Delete
    5. Maybe they don't use their name because people like you might decide to harass them.

      I love Michelle's work and she has every right to her opinion, but maybe wording it differently would have been better. Last time I checked, we were all entitled to our own opinion and I really hope these comments don't boil down to a bitch fest.

      You don't agree? Say your piece without bullying and name-calling and move on. That should go for both sides.

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    6. TJ is exactly right.

      Yes, I have my opinions, but I don't want to be bullied or passive-aggressively mocked for them. The internet really brings out the worst in people.

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    7. wow, wow ,wow! I for one did not get what all those others got from your post michelle. I do not know you as a customer, I met you at the con in denver. I was a vendor that was the only one not dressed up and not into the whole costume thing. I personally love you. I think you are outspoken and high strung and perfect the way you are. It is funny that those that live in glass houses always throw the biggest stones. These girls act like they never judge a book by the cover!!! Please, this girl is amazing!!!

      Delete
    8. Melissa Donahey (Proudly NOT 'Anonymous'!!)July 27, 2012 at 11:08 AM

      Omg...Michelle, I say stick to what you said, and anyone who can't take it in the (OBVIOUSLY) sarcastic way it was intended can GFT's. And I WAS one of the "popular girls".

      So there!

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    9. Why would a "pretty person" get so offended at being called such. Ugh. Take it as a compliment and enjoy the sarcasm! I agree with the original blog wording, although I admire your willingness to apologize and make peace. I loved the convention, I love nerds, and it was AMAZING to feel so surrounded by by own soul tribe of like-minded individuals. What makes a person "pretty" to me is their intelligence and willingness to embrace life. Nerdy conventions are the best draw for these people. I, too, am guilty of judging a person by their outward appearance, and I can completely relate to your experience. Sometimes a "pretty person" also has to justify themselves with their personality to prove they fit in. Welcome to our world. I believe that was the point.

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  2. Puleaze, like we can't spot those types in ren clothes too. It''s cool though. We will take your money. Go back to your Barbie house when your done.

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    1. You might be a little more effective if you used proper English.

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    2. I think I might want to go and live in a Barbie House now. ;)

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    3. OMG Michelle! I want to live in a barbie house too! Can you make me a hot pink corset to go with it?

      Delete
  3. Long live geeks!

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  4. Haha! can't agree more Michelle!

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  5. Conventions do seem like safe havens don't they? And renfaires are more open to the public (ie, cheaper to get into and less time commitment for the attendee).

    A lot of us geek girls have that defense mechanism left over from our high school days to cope with those that appear like they're popular and ready to play character assassination with us, yet again. And the pretty girls that may seem like they're just doing it for the attention?? An initial gut reaction of "ugh, get out of my world bitch" (sorry for the language but come on, a lot of us have thought that at one time or another) is understandable. But we must rise up and be the better person. It is hard to at first, but until they criticize your work (and therefore totally deserve a breadstick thrown at them...), take the high road. Smooth out those "you're too pretty to be in my shop" jests. Welcome them in and show them that doing what you love and living well is the best revenge...err, it's what's putting that smile on your face and money in the bank.

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  6. Meghan (not afraid to be anonymous)July 26, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    And this is what perpetuates stereotypes and hatred.

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    1. Meghan, I'm truly sorry. You're exactly right. I can promise you that I didn't do this all in hatred. I foolishly didn't tell this whole story, as I was in a hurry writing the dang blog. I actually sold a corset to the girl, and we had a good laugh over stereotyping.

      Delete
  7. Hey! I'm blond, blue eyes, and pretty.. and a total NERD!!! I'm not the cheerleader type, but people mistake me for that. Till they talk to me and realise that I have a brian and know how to use it and I usually end up making them wish they never met me. I love your stuff... and I would walk into your booth in jeans, a t shirt and tennis shoes cause, well.. that is what is comfy to me and I don't have a full costume cause I am picky and know quality work and won't buy some cheap piece o'crap. So everything I want is expensive and I can't always afford it. Don't always judge a person by what they look like. I may look like a cheerleader, but believe me when I say I am the farthest thing from it and when I meet one I want to slap them.

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  8. Wow, judgmental much? I have tons of nerdy/geeky friends, and they come in all kinds of physical appearances -- including pretty, blonde, and blue-eyed. And here you are, proud of the fact that you made this girl cry just because she was too pretty to play in your playground. A bully is a bully, whether she's a cheerleader or a geek, and it's NEVER cool.

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    1. Nice name, annonymous. :) Whine at Michelle all from the comfort of a hidden identity right?

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    2. Here again, I PROMISE she didn't cry herself to sleep, unless it was because of joy. This was a sarcastic comment, and I definitely didn't take the time to re-read the blog and see how it might be taken. Very good point, anonymous!

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    3. Amy, I'm sorry! I saw your post on facebook, and I feel bad that I made you....feel bad.

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    4. Melissa Donahey (Proudly NOT 'Anonymous'!!)July 27, 2012 at 11:11 AM

      Anyone unwilling to use their real name when they berate someone from the comfort of their cushy High Horse can take their attitude and their opinions and shove 'em where the sun don't shine.

      Cowards All. Which is FAR worse than sarcastically joking about stereotypes. It is things like this that make me ashamed to be an American.

      Delete
    5. Maybe we stay anonymous because we'd pretty much get dog-piled on for disagreeing.

      I'd like to feel like I can state my opinion reasonably (it is possible to do this while disagreeing), and not get told I have a 'stick up my ass.'

      Delete
  9. Not cool. I work at a ren faire and every customer is treated exactly the same, whether they look like a "Barbie and Ken" or a "Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head."

    I think it's more fun to interact with "geeks" since you often have more in common with them, but a little conversation with that "pretty girl" could turn her into the biggest steampunk/science/Dr. Who/etc. fan around because you took a minute to treat her like a human being, not a stereotypes.

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    1. I truly think this IS the fun thing about ren-faires. Everyone is in costume, and it helps equalize things. I'm treated very well by almost everyone, and it's FUN!

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    2. I don't think you understood what I meant, but that is my fault for writing it that way.

      I don't mean people who actually dress up as "Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head." I mean those folks that society deems unattractive.

      My issue with this post (here and Facebook) is that some of your fans have deemed anyone who didn't totally agree with you as "trolls", "people with sticks up their asses", and "bullies." Thanks to those fans for proving that geeks can be dicks and that people who have differing are always wrong.

      Michelle, let this go. Learn from it if you want, go have some tea and a yummy treat and keep on keeping on. I appreciate your responses and remember this: I may not always agree with you, but I will always respect and like you.

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    3. Pretty much this.

      I will say I appreciate you apologizing, though. I honestly didn't realize it was meant to be sarcastic.

      Still, I agree in that yeah, it was really proved that geeks can be just as nasty.

      Delete
  10. I guess I'll be telling my blond haired, blue-eyed friends to avoid your both in the future.

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    1. Very good point! After I re-read this, I can totally see how much of a poo-head it made me sound like. It wasn't intended that way, and I can assure you that although I might not be "professional" with customers in the classic sense, I DO love to have fun with them. Me and the lovely lady had a good laugh, and she bought a corset. Please don't tell your friends horrifying things about me, although I guess I understand if you do.

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  11. 9 times out of 10 you see the geeky girl hanging all over the douche bag jock that doesn't want to be there or the really nice geeky guy that thought his 'friend that is a girl that will never like him in any way, shape, or form' would like to go on a date to the ren faire or to a convention. So I see where Michelle is coming from she is a business owner and has the right to make fun of and/or refused service to people that are just going to waste her time with trying on a few outfits to take some photos in to post on their facebook page and not buy anything. The popular crowd is always easy to pick out in a group now that I'm older. They thought they were entitled and privileged back in high school because Mommy and Daddy's were rich and they got to spend that money. Then they grew up and realized all they have going for them are their looks and they have no personality.

    One place I do have to disagree with Michelle is the look or style of clothing that they wear doesn't give them away, it's all in the attitude and body language that they display. I was not a popular kid in high school. I was made fun of because of the music I listened to or the way I dressed or the company I kept. So I agree with not judging a book by the cover but if the first words out of someones mouth is, "Like OMG! Totally!" or "Yo dude check dis out" then yeah you might have been a popular kid....

    **My name is Muzette AKA Zgirl and I approve this message**

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  12. People having cows over this just don't understand. There is a difference between a people and it's easy to spot. TONS of people go to faire, including some kids who go to heckle the "nerds". Most people I already know IRL that go to faire go strictly to drink themselves into stupors then drive home and wonder why their car ran into a tree.

    When my mother first went to our local faire, Tex Ren Fest, she went with a guy she was semi-dating and his friends. They had no interest in going to faire and infact LEFT MY MOM THERE without word (she went to the bathroom and they LEFT HER cause they thought it was stupid) with no money and no ride home (because the date said he'd buy everything for her) and she was stuck out there all day long w/ no food or way to get home. She had to walk home down that scary, dark wooded road till this angel came by and saved her. This angel that ended up introducing me to renfaire when he took my mom and her kids out on a date there again a few weekends later.

    You people need to stop looking through this stupid world with your rose colored glasses thinking everyone that goes to a ren fest is there because they like it or want to go. There's lots of different people who go and you CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE between douchebags who don't care about it and those who just need a nuzzling into the direction of the awesomeness that is being a rennie.

    And also Michelle was clearly stating how at a COnvention you don't run into these types of people because 9 times out of 10 the people attending are highly into the subject matter. Chances are these jock types don't even know these places exist.


    AND NONE OF YOU PEOPLE were in the booth when she made any of these types of comments. YOU DO NOT KNOW what these people were like or how they were acting that might have caused such remarks. SO STOP FRIGGIN DEMONIZING the woman because of some random HIGH HORSE IMAGERY you're running these scenarios through in your head. CLEARLY these types of comments are not said to every friggin customer or every friggin time she runs a festival.

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    1. Nice of you to assume so much about all of us.

      You wouldn't really know if any of us were that customer, now would you?

      Also, using caps-lock doesn't make you awesome.

      Delete
    2. But in the back of my mind I'll be thinking about this the next time I see her at a faire or con and wonder if she thinks of me this way.

      I work at a booth at 2 different faires and totally know the type of people she is talking about. I want their money and treat them like anyone else because my kindness has on more than one occasion got them to open their wallets. And yep, my co-workers and I talk about you when you leave.

      You want to vent about these people, I think you should do it with your friends and family, not on a public forum where all past, present, and future customers can see.

      Michelle is human and we all make mistakes - this one certainly isn't the worst out there. But what hurts me the most is that someone who may have been teased and mocked for being a nerd or geek would turn around and possibly inflict that feeling of pain and worthlessness on someone else.

      Time to shake it off and move on and hopefully this thread will give her some food for thought.

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    3. "hopefully this thread will give her some food for thought"

      My thoughts exactly.

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    4. I've just had a thought and wondered how many vendors have contacted con or faire security about the people who come in just to make fun and have asked security to remove those people. I know they exist and honestly I think they're every bit as annoying and disruptive as someone who gets drunk onsite and is also unceremoniously kicked out. I know that performers typically can handle the heckling but seriously, it's disruptive to everyone's business there. Faire/con management could easily see how those hecklers are bad for business.

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    5. I think there is SOME INCREDIBLY good points made here. Oh, poo, I used all caps there. Blast! Now, I'm an idiot again! Once again, I'm sorry for all of this, and I'm so sick to my stomach that it all blew up this way so badly that I'm shaking here in my chair next to my messy desk.
      The internet is a scary place, and I would bet a million dollars that if you got us all into the same room, none of us would SAY ANY of these things to each other. I have found that most people are truly decent and kind-hearted. We may have little insecurities about ourselves and other people, but that's sort of what ties us all together, right?

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  13. Ok... guess I'll shop somewhere else now, Michelle. I've purchased many things from you in the past on Etsy and shared your info out to friends of mine for them to buy corsets. But right now? I'm looking at my gold pirate coat and wondering if it stands for judgemental elitism.

    I am pretty. I am blue eyed. I am blonde. I had generous parents that gave me what I wanted when they could. I am an accountant for a Fortune 500 company. I enjoy concerts, operas, movies, and conventions of many types. I work local conventions and Renaissance festivals. I dress to fit my tastes, and I do happen to like many 'perky cheerleader' labels. I also like indie labels.

    I was made fun of in High School, and again many years later at a convention, bullied by someone I had thought a friend. And I may as well have been that perky little cheerleader you made cry, because the words 'Hey dude, look at this!' have come out of my mouth. And they will continue to do so because I am what I am and I am proud of who I am: a perky little dude-spouting blonde who has the hots for Tony Stark and Loki. (You can have Captain America and Thor. I want the bad boys who are torn in their hearts.)

    But I can't be proud of you.

    Lisa Rock, Atlanta, GA.

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  14. Blonde haired, blue eyed woman here.

    Been 'different' my whole life. Was the nerd, the goth, the weird kid.

    Would never treat anyone, let alone a customer, like that without major provocation. I see no provocation here at all.

    Ashamed to read this. The 'us vs them' mentality was what the "weird" folk hated "the popular kids" for in high school and onwards. Now we play the same game well into adulthood. Grow up. This is gross.

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  15. I think everyone needs to go back and read what Michelle actually wrote. All she said was that she poked fun at the stereotype, not the people. One time, ONCE, her little joke was ill recieved. If you read what she wrote, she was actually complimenting the cheerleader stereotype...she said the girl who cried was PRETTY! Very much so! She wasn't saying all cheerleaders, pretty people, or blondes are mean or anything like that. Let's be serious here, we all think, "Aww, I bet she was popular in highschool!" If you have a mean, judgey voice speaking your inner monologue, that's your baggage, not necessarily everyone elses.

    And shame on those of you threatening to not do business with Michelle anymore. When have you ever seen Michelle be anything but warm and welcoming to any of her customers whether in her booth or on her Facebook. She is a beautiful person, who helps women see how amazingly beautiful they are, whether they recognize it otherwise or not.

    This is ridiculous. Peeps need to take a chill pill. Michelle I'm sending you some chai, sweets. You'll need it after all this.

    Dani Leyndyke, a highschool outcast who has learned to love exactly who she is, and therefore accept everyone else for who they are also.

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    1. Dani, the good point here is that we've met tons of times in person, and so you know my personality. I think that if I read this, not knowing the person and seeing her interact, I may think i was a poo-head too. However, thank you tremendously for your support and kind words. You are a gem of a woman.

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    2. I was about to comment on this very idea. I'll bet most of the people complaining have never carried on an actual conversation with Michelle or even met her in person. If you had you would know what I wonderfully warm and kind person she is. I've had the pleasure of spending time with Michelle on many occasions (at both pirate festivals and conventions) and I've never seen her be anything but gracious to the customers who come into her booth.

      Perhaps there is a bit of projection in your protests?

      Rhonda

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    3. I've never met Michelle or held a conversation with her (aside from the brief emails bugging her about fabrics) but I read this blog and had a nice chuckle. I was honestly surprised to see people insulting her like this, after these same people leave comments of absolute adoration and love. I think people are missing the big picture here- that everyone is entitled to an opinion. If you don't like it, it's your problem. People have gotten way too sensitive. I don't think that Michelle should have to take her words back and distress over a mere blog because a few ladies blew things out of proportion.

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  16. "a highschool outcast who has learned to love exactly who she is, and therefore accept everyone else for who they are also"

    Confused as to why you identify this way but still support pushing a stereotype hard enough to potentially make someone cry. And it wasn't just that. Her attitude here in this entry is worse. Ex:

    "It's just that she was WAY too pretty, blonde, and blue-eyed to be there. At least put on a cape and carry a China-made sword from Bud-, why don't you?!"

    That's blatantly judging someone. This is not accepting someone for who they are. You claim to accept people for who they are, and yet support this kind of thinking.

    Baffling.

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  17. Dear Michelle,

    I can understand where people are coming from. Sometimes, to a stranger, you *can* come across as hateful, mean, judgmental, high strung.

    That being said, I think that last word is key: You are a bit hyper, and high strung.

    I don't think you mean anything bad by it. I used to think so. Esp. when I would come into your booth before you knew me by sight and you were hot and worn out from a weekend of being out in crazy oklahoma heat for a few days.

    But as I have gotten to know you, as your customer over the years, I've just come to realize that you are actually, just a bit high strung, creative, and quirky. Like many people you talk before you think, and when that is extended to your blog, people can't hear your tone of voice, and know how seriously to take you or not.

    I know you don't mean any harm by what you said.

    But, please remember that people outside your family and friends or those who have known you casually for five ten years as a customer, might not.

    I have said it before, and I'll say it again - this blog, is not your best business friend. Think about how many people read, misunderstand, and walk away without ever saying a word. That is what most people do. I am simply amazed there was never been a response to other articles you have written before like this - this was actually a much milder one compared to some other things you have said in the past. I mean, the one about the bread stick, I was appalled for your sake, that it happened, and that it was then written about for any one to find.

    Just something to think about.

    Still love you, still love your stuff, hope that this doesn't get you too down.

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    1. That is a REALLY good point, and I'm really grateful you brought that out. I can promise you, I will tone it down in the future, because you're right...not all of these people know me.

      Delete
    2. I don't have to know you to recognize sarcasm, and that's what that post was. Total sarcasm.

      I think the people that are acting offended need grow up, not you.

      Thanks for being awesome!

      Delete
    3. I'm actually a huge customer of Michelle's. Maybe not to her in terms of dollars and I DONT know her.

      But wow. Your (anonymous whoever) post actualyl DID offend me, not you Michelle, the person who took the time to break down a post that was obviously meant to be sarcastic. Most of your posts are.

      I don't think people should have to know you to get your sarcasm. They don't have to know you. I realize you have abusiness, but you do realize some of the reason you have one is because of your charm. That includes THIS...you weren't mean to anyone. You didn't bully anyone. You. Did. Not.

      People choose to be offended. You cannot participate in that process (because you can) without deliberate cause and malicious intent. Both. You did not offend anyone, they let themselves be offended for no reason. None. Takes a lot to admit to onesself they overreacted and put their bad day onto your post while reading it.


      I am really actually ticked off at those who seriously need to sit back and get off their righteous horses. I, myself, am only riding a righteous pony. When you come online, with your foul or hurt mood, then read someone's post with that as your underlying current? That is YOUR fault, not the writers.

      If you don't like what the blogger wrote, don't come back.

      Michelle, I have tos ay, if you change how you post, etc. I think you'll chase off more than you'll win over by being 'toned down.' I buy your product because of the same reason so many do: Amazing quality, great customer service (hey, I've had hiccups in mine and I still call it great!), and a bit of wit and sarcasm.

      If someone can't get it? Then they need to go away.

      As someone mentioned (i forget if it is below or above my post) - this is part of our problem as a people. THere is a difference between bullying and a bit of sarcastic wit.

      You call this bullying and someone needs to actually TAKE sensitivity training - and learn some manners. That's THEIR problem, NOT YOURS Michelle.

      I like you how you are. I look forward to your posts. Because you say the things so many of us are thinking - only in a wittier, funnier, more humble way.

      And by the way, you were offended by her breadstick story? *eye roll* Yeah, that eye roll was MEANT to be offensive, because I'd like to shock you a bit into reality. The woman came here to talk about something that obviously bothered and shamed her. SHE SAID EXACTLY THAT. And she vented - and you have the gall to try to make her feel bad about it again?

      I don't care if you say you know her, or are her customer, that doesn't give YOU the right to talk to her like that. I'm with Michelle's Mom, you owe her an apology (and I'm not implying Michelle's mom endorses my message or had pointed you out specifically...but I'm saying those of you who went way too far with this should be ashamed of yourselves. Truly. )

      Go Michelle's mom. Again. No endorsement from Michelle's mom was intended.

      -Monique
      (PS. I'm anonymous because I can't seem to get an account to work. Not because I give a crap if you know who I am.)

      Michelle - please don't change. I'm begging you. My chocolate starved - overworked fingers, slightly demented brain is begging you - I need the reprieve and the honesty

      Delete
  18. Hmm. For a bunch of people who claim to hate bullying, they're doing a whole lot of bullying of you, aren't they Michelle?

    Also, I think they're missing the point. I've seen, at Faire, the people you're glad to not have to deal with at conventions, Michelle. It's not the look (hair color, eye color, being pretty) or the clothes. It's the attitude. It's that, "I'm better than all of you. You actually spend your weekends doing THIS? /insert scornful laugh here." I have a hard time dealing with that sort of attitude, and I'm not even in a booth. Imagine having to help someone like that as they flip through your merchandise, no doubt rolling their eyes, complaining about the prices, and possibly spilling their beer. If you're not the type to do these things, she's not talking about you!

    In addition, watch out that you don't fall off your high horses, people. No telling how many limbs you'd break. >.< Chin up, Michelle. Some of us understand.

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    1. This isn't about 'being on one's high horse.'

      Someone already hit the nail on the head, here:

      "But what hurts me the most is that someone who may have been teased and mocked for being a nerd or geek would turn around and possibly inflict that feeling of pain and worthlessness on someone else."

      This is why people are upset. Many of us have been bullied, perhaps for being 'differen't form the 'norm,' or for looking 'popular,' or however else you want to label it.

      I have experienced that kind of bullying growing up because I was different, but I'd never treat someone like they treated me - just because they did it to me first doesn't make it 'right.' In fact, in my opinion it should give more reason to be kind and not do these things - be the better person.

      And I also realize that some of the responses here could have been worded a bit better, or more kindly, but just because someone disagrees does not make it bullying.

      Delete
    2. I LOVED the line, and might even have to (ahem) *steal* it the next time I have a couple with said attitude. My personal favorite to use with such frequently is "It's a good thing you're cute." As with many things, it's not what you say but rather HOW you say it that can offend. Most of the best/most effective lines are smug/assh@olish if written/spoken out of context. But they work, for every person I merely piss off, a hundred others buy my product.

      Delete
    3. Yup, very good point! I can't stress enough that I WAS NOT actually saying anything in a mean tone. I said it with a smile, tried a corset on her, and we had a blast on a wretchedly hot day in Oklahoma. However, everyone is completely right about how wrongly things can be taken over the internet, without all of the info and the tone of voice.

      Delete
  19. Everyone, chill out. Seriously. If you can't have a sense of humor while reading a personal blog, then good luck to you anywhere else on the internet.

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  20. I imagine tone is hard to imply in a blog post, and the interaction wasn't bullying?
    Maybe Michelle used the word because the notion of bullying a potential customer is so ridiculous it's funny?

    Please question my entrance to your booth because I'm too pretty!
    ~ Daisy O'Danny

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    1. That's sort of what I thought, but then again, we're both women comedians, to some extent, right? By the way, I like the things that are happening in your life. I think about you on a daily basis...not in a creepy way or anything. ;)

      Delete
  21. I'm kind of unclear on why people are getting so up in arms about this. Michelle is telling the story of a failed interaction, and is using humour. Is that ... uncommon, in any way, in your life? Do you never, ever, say things to people that results in a kind of awkwardness? When you're telling a story, do you absolutely never use exaggeration to comedic effect?

    I hate to use these labels, but I kind of feel like I have to for a second. Michelle is an exceptionally creative woman. She is quirky, passionate, and, sometimes, she can be a little bit weird. I absolutely CANNOT imagine a world where every person who walks into Michelle's booth at a festival has the same sense of humour as her, and I say this because I have the exact same problem. I've worked in customer service basically my whole adult life, and while I am at work, I hollow out my sense of humour and my personality -- I can't be "me" at work, because "me" is just too dang weird. Every time I have ever tried to make a joke at work, I have -- 100% of the time -- been met with uncomfortable looks, stares, silence, or a bewildered "what was that?"

    Michelle does not hollow out her personality. She makes her quirky jokes, and she carries herself with the same attitude and sass that we LOVE about her products.

    And sometimes people don't get these jokes in her booth. Other times, they don't get them on her blog. They confuse an exaggerated-inner-monologue piece of dialogue for an I-said-this-verbatim piece of dialogue.

    So, uh, yeah.

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    1. ahhaa, thanks Jess. And LOOK! I made a complete fool of myself for the WHOLE INTERNET to see! Not just the people in my booth! This is a new low for me. I'm almost impressed with my own stupidity, sometimes. I deserve an awkward medal.
      By the way, I do think we can be best friends.

      Delete
  22. I'm blonde, blue-eyed, tall and I take no offence from anything Michelle said. If by some chance I was mistaken for the cheerleader-type, I'd simply (and happily) quip back that I was flattered that she thought me so pretty, but that it was only by spending copious amounts of time in my high school library that I'd maintained my complexion!

    I'm a geek and proud of it. I consider it a matter of my geeky attitude that I have a sense of humour that enables me to come up with witty answers in a heartbeat. I got bullied by the popular jock/cheerleader-types, so if they're going to be precious about some calling them out on it, I honestly don't care - they certainly didn't care what their nasty words did to others.

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  23. I wasn't bullying or demonizing Michelle. Just trying to make a point that I may look like a cheerleader, but am not one. I even said I love her stuff and it is GREAT quallity stuff. I would love to meet you, Michelle. But you are so far away. I live in Kansas City, MO. Don't you have a brother-in-law that sell your stuff in MO?? I would love to know where he is at so I can go look and maybe save up enough money to buy the long wanted Pirate Vixen Coat I so adore. :)

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  24. And this is why our nation is spiraling downward. Do I think bullying is o.k.? No. However, there is a difference in bullying and what Michelle wrote here. It is her blog, Her opinion, and was taken much too literally. You choose whether to read it or not. For those of you who weren't able to tell, she is silly, sarcastic, and dramatic. Did she mean to hurt anyone's feelings? Of course not. But I say again, this is what's wrong with our nation. We are so bassackwards in our thinking lately that we are spiraling down. Instead of a nation of strong people we have become weak. It is o.k. to fail. You don't need to try. Don't push yourself. We are a nation of thin-skinned poor-me attitudes. The fact that this silly little blog 'hurt' so many people is ridiculous. Get a life. Experience life. Life isn't bubbles and cotton candy all day long. If something this small bothers you, I'd hate to see what your life is like. Be happy. Share happiness with others. Keep your cup half full, not empty. Take everything people say as a grain of salt and move on. Too many people are looking for something to be wrong with everything around them. That's why our nation is so lawsuit crazed. Instead of whining about the injustices, DO something to change it. All of you could have personally IM'd Michelle and nicely (without bullying her!) stated your feelings. Instead, you made a public bullying session to back Michelle into a corner and make HER feel bad that YOU read her blog and didn't like her dramatic storytelling. Next time, how about you STOP & think about your own actions before you write a nasty note to someone else about how horrible you thought their words were. We are only as good as our actions show us to be.

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    1. Alicia, if you run for public office, I WILL vote for you!

      Delete
  25. Can I be offended that the one time I met you at the Muskogee ren faire, you didn't tell me I was too pretty to be in your shop? ;)

    My male geeky friends have a little forum that they call The Nerdery, and I'm the only female involved. I've noticed that they can say borderline rude remarks and everyone laughs, but if I get sarcastic it doesn't come across as well. I end up having to throw in a lot of winky-smiles or do a lot of backpeddling. I guess people (ladies included) tend to believe that women only speak literally.

    I wonder how many times that the women I've called bitchy have just actually been trying to make a joke? You've given me something to think about.

    Cheer up, Michelle! You're still awesome!

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  26. This seems to boil down to some people just can't take a joke.

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  27. Michelle, I know you and think you are the bee's knees AND a bag of chips... Wait, do those things work together!? I know that this unintentional explosion of fecal matter hitting the proverbial fan of the Internet is likely making your insides twist around in knots. Please know that there are many of us who think the WORLD of you. Please go easy on yourself over this. You've explained yourself and have apologized and that's all you can do. I'm just wishing I knew what your favorite candy bar is, because if you have any more moments after this where you're tempted to crawl into the fetal position and throw chocolate at yourself, it should be with really good chocolate! Love ya!

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    1. You are too lovely! Why haven't you come over even MORE? I need more friends like you, and the world needs more people like you!

      Delete
  28. If I may,
    I am a proud nerd and confident with who I am. I CHOOSE not to be bullied, because I have control over who I am. If you found this post offensive, then first of, you need to find something worth-while to be offended at. Take being called short, that is totally worth being offended at! Wait, no it's not. It's still a ridiculous thing to bothered by. If you "knew" Michelle, (and I say that loosely) then you would have taken this post as playful and light hearted. If you didn't, then you have personal issues you are perpetuating onto her. I've only worked with her very briefly, and I respect her charisma. If she truly was trying to be nasty and mean, I'm quite sure it would have been INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS, and nothing that would have to be deciphered. And threatening to not buy from her anymore is cowardly. There, have I offended enough people so they can be mad at me and not the incredible Michelle? If not I am more than happy to rise to the occasion and continue to point out why this outrage is absurd.

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  29. "I will NEVER EVER EVER say this again. From now on, I will run my booth like a professional. When ladies come in, I will politely tell them that they can come to me when they desire help, and I will be pleased to grant their request."

    - Wow I sure hope that this is more sarcasm? Because I'd otherwise hate to think that this would in any way hobble your amazing self and personality! Understanding that you're feeling sheepish over your earlier post (and what outspoken lady hasn't been in those shoes... the ones hanging out of your mouth, that is)? But who in the world wants polite professionalism? I much prefer sarcasm and fun, and dare I say snark? Your words made me sad a little bit. Don't let this stop you from being you - even in a business setting - some people will love you and some people will hate you no matter WHAT you do or say.

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  30. Michelle, you're awesome. :)

    I really do agree that we need some sort of punctuation for playfull scarcasm, cuz I would have laughed and been flattered if you said that to me in your shop. I find it ridiculous that so many people got their panties in a bunch because of your lighthearted comments to your customers that day.

    Those offended hold the fault for their own offense. Because they were obviously looking to be offended in the way they read that blog cuz anyone who knows you would know that you were being your cheerful, loving, outspoken self that we love.

    I can see where people are saying that "you need to be more professional", but that's part of the charm of your shop and being around you, is that you don't live off the same boring script as all the other shop owners, but you greet everyone personally. You are what gives Damsell in this Dress it's flavor and spice, and those complaining just can't handle the awesome in store. ;)

    Please keep being yourself, cuz those who really matter adore you. :)

    *To those that are offended by her post: The customers she told us about weren't offended, Michelle didn't mean any offense. Get over it! I love Damsell in this Dress, Michelle is great, and I hope to aquire some of her beautiful merchandise myself soon. :)

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  31. *To lazy to make an account, so i'm the dreaded ANONYMOUS*

    What? I came here expecting blood, gut and gory, or at lest something reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaly insulting against us blonde, blue eyed girls. Now I feel cheated, because this hardly seems worth the effort half you ladies are putting in to proving how evil Michelle is..... I've never met her, don't know her, haven't bought anything from her... But if your gonna get all offend over this post, I wanna know how the heck you have that much free time to fret. You're telling me you've never "judged" anyone in your entire life by your first impression of them, even before you got a chance to talk to them, and been proven utterly wrong? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeas. So, her journal didn't have the sarcastic warning signs turned on? So what? It's a fecking blog, where she get to rant an be human. geeeeeeeeeeze...

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  32. I have known and worked with Michelle at a few festivals and conventions int he last few years. The amount of hating I am reading in some of these posts is honestly bringing me to tears. I can imagine sitting at my computer and having shit storm reign down on my head over something that wasn't stated eloquently. I honestly doubt that any of you have never said anything ever that was taken wrong and the fact that you now see fit to judge someone you barely know and condemn them for it make you all big hypocrites. The fact that she sat at her computer and took time away from her family to personally explain the context or flat out apologize for a comment that apparently hurt, for some reason. Knowing and working Michelle gives me some prospective on her since of humor and I saw what she was trying to say in her blog was not meant from a mean or judgmental place. I have to say everyone who jumped on the bandwagon of hate needs to seriously take a step back and decide what type of human being they choose to be because right now the world is looking somewhat bleak.

    Michelle, I am sorry that I will not be able to come to the con and I wish it didn't interfere with Faerieworlds weekend and travel right now so soon after my surgery is too difficult. You made your apologies and humbled yourself and I have greater respect for you as a person for putting yourself out there and excepting censure with obvious remorse and grace. I am proud to recommend your corsets to my friends and family and am a customer as long as you keep making your fantastic corsets.

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  33. I work with Michelle at some of her festivals. She is so overly kind, attentive and tuned in to people. Her PR skills are amazing. We all take others too seriously, and then take ourselves too seriously. This should've been a non-issue. I think some of you actually owe Michelle an apology.

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    1. I agree that a lot of people are taking themselves way too seriously because if they weren't they would have just shrugged it off after Michelle explained what actually happened and apologized or even understood where she was coming from! The people that keep putting her down obviously have their own issues to deal with if they can't empathize or accept a sincere apology! To Michelle: I'm looking forward to buying a corset from you!!!

      Delete
    2. ahahah! MOm!!!! I LOVE that you didn't pull out the "MOM" card and tell everyone to stop being mean to me! Vea is my mom, everybody! She carried me in the womb for nine months, lovingly nurtured me as a child, put up with me as a wily teenager, and is now my best friend!!! Think of my MOM, my MOTHER reading these comments! NOW, i'M horrified! ahahah. It's like my mom came onto the playground and saw me getting my butt kicked! ;)

      Delete
    3. I agree. I think these people SHOULD give her an apology!

      Delete
  34. I loved this! Totally skipped the pink parts because you shouldnt have to apologize for being yourself!! I am a Rennie nerd.... Yes the commercialized version and love it... I wasn't offended one bit! Some people just take things too personally! I will still more thank gladly buy fom you! ( when I get money lol!)

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  35. My dearest Michelle you are a brilliant, lovely, extremely talented woman. Those virtues will always be appreciated, no matter how loud and outspoken you can be. I love you the way you are and look forward to working with you on the wardrobe for my fairy tale characters this fall. Have a blessed day, and remember who YOU are! A talented, blessed, outspoken, lady who everyone that has ever worn your bodices loves!!!! You make magic that no one else can make!!

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  36. Hey, we all make mistakes . Unfortunately this one was public. Some people understand where you were coming from some don't. Sadly,there may be some repercussions because of it. But, you will take what you need from it an it will make you that much of a better person. You are a delight to be around and you are damn good at your job! Please, please don't let anyone ever tell you different!

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  37. I enjoy reading your blog-and this post is no exception. Perhaps it's because I'm just so attractive and don't know it, but I see where your perspective is coming from. Keep on making awesome stuff and being awesome you-and sadly we won't be able to make it to the Steam Fest this year because of a pre-existing family event, but we'll be there in spirit-probably the spirit of some wacky difference engine.

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  38. Michelle, you are amazing and spectacular! You should NOT be apologizing to ANYONE for anything you have said or written, this is YOUR blog. If people don't like it, well then they don't have to read it. They have no right to judge, criticize, or shame you. Not for one second did I actually believe that the girl "cried herself to sleep" or that you were actually mean to people in any way. EVERYONE has at some point in their life, disliked someone else for being prettier, smarter, taller, ect. ect. than them. All of the women who have made you feel even the slightest bit regretful should be ashamed of themselves for being first class hypocrites.

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  39. Age of the GEEK baby! Now we hold the power, so deal with it mmmkay?

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  40. i don't see what people got their panties in such a twist about. i read all of this while ignoring the pink and none of it was offensive to me at all, in fact it read like a happy "yay i'm going to another festival" post. people will use any excuse to get offended these days...

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  41. I don't really think that calling people overly sensitive, hateful or unable to take a joke because they are upset is a particularly good idea, unless you want to start a flame war. You can't say that one person has the right to say whatever they like, then claim others have no right to reply with their honest opinions on a public blog. Everyone has equal right to speak - those who offend, and those who are offended.

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  42. Really? Is this how you act when you run a business? Are you ten years old? No. I have 6 of your corsets. Due to this post you have just lost a customer. Business 101... if you do not have nothing nice to say keep your trap shut. Want your blog to be outspoken and personal? Then start a new blog that is not tied with your business.

    I normally do not comment on posts, but think, you have lost me as a customer. Think about all the other people that you lost as customers that did not reply to this post. It's sad to see such a great business loose sales due to the ignorance of it's owner.

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    Replies
    1. Or the ignorance of its customers? Lol!

      Delete
  43. Wow...some of you are absolutely amazing......really...I can't stand the amount of amazingness that I just read.

    I'm so sick of over-overreacting. It's ridiculous! I hope you're proud of yourselves for making one person feel like crap.

    Michelle, I am a VERY proud owner of 4 different styles of your corsets (Soon to add another as soon as the fundage happens) and I absolutely love your snarkyness. I have the same sense of humor, and I get crap for a lot of things I say as well. Sure sometimes I stuff my foot in my mouth then regret it later, but having been on both sides...sometimes people need to chill the eff out. I've notice more and more that people are getting ridiculously touchy...and I mean overly so.

    I've never had the chance to meet you in person, but I think you're awesome, and I always look forward to reading your blogs :)

    *Yeah, not making ANOTHER blog account so, this is me...*

    Laura K.

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  44. I see trolls and haters...

    This is sad, Michelle is my favourite and ONLY corset lady I buy from. WHY?! Because NOT only does she make amazing corsets and outfit, NOT only does she take time and puts alot of care into order for her customer, BUT also because of her 'Quirky' 'Wacky' and 'Sarcastic' nature about her. IT WHAT MAKES HER, HER. If you do not like what she says in 'jest' and take offense then please feel free to jump off a damn cliff (into a pool of jelly for your safety)

    If you think Michelle is such a big bad wolf well then you really should let me serve you where I work.. Because I am the evilist little employee ever.

    Whiny whiny little children with nothing to do but whine about something that was said on the internet. BOOHOO!

    Remember this Michelle (Something I learnt when dealing with people)
    "Those who matter, do not care. Those who care, do not matter."

    I love your corset ^^ and you are a fantastic, wonderful, crazy nice caring lady! Don't be sad about the whiners, You will always find people who will like you for your 'quirks'

    Sincerely Jezkitt,
    Jessie, The sarcastic Bitch.

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  45. Keep being awesome. Don't change.

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