|Brynn, in her boots, making a face in front of the wreckage!|
In this vein, I apparently have a HECK of a lot more friends than I ever thought I did. Not the "accept request" kind on facebook, but the actual "We-are-thinking-about-your-needs-instead-of-our-own" type. I spent the whole weekend at the Norman Medieval Faire accepting kind thoughtful gifts and treats, in between bouts of running to the porta-potties to throw up (DANG morning sickness will get to you...especially when you're trying to look pretty, be presentable, and serve customers!), but more than that, I had hoards of people coming in JUST to ask about me and how I was doing with my company and my family. People were sweet, kind, sympathetic, and supportive. I can promise you guys, if you came past the booth when I wasn't there, it was probably because I was bawling my eyes out, overwhelmed and humbled by the love I was receiving. Now, granted, the last time I was pregnant, I absolutely wept through the entire 2 hours of Mary Poppins, so I AM emotional, but that doesn't negate how treasured I felt as a human being.
And guess what! This was all BEFORE we got in a life-threatening/altering accident! The love that I have felt literally seeping into my physical and emotional wounds has been healing better than any medicine. We have had such an out-pouring of genuine concern and charity that my whole chest is absolutely on fire just THINKING about it. I can honestly say that THIS is the pinnacle of my career! It helps show my soul to me, and let me know that I DO have a noble, higher purpose for being here in this life, and particularly, in running this company. When I declare that my ultimate dream is to help women learn to love and appreciate their bodies, it sounds so pre-packaged and gimmicky. I might as well be a lotion commercial. The thing is-I believe in what I'm doing from down at my very core. I KNOW that our whole entire world could change if women were able stop focusing on their failures and flaws and start marveling at the wonderous gift that our physical forms are in this life. I feel that learning to have charity and love for ourselves is the start to loving others. Yet, in showing love for others, we see the good and beauty in ourselves....thus the marvelous cycle continues.
What I feel that I've learned this week......how do I even say it? I am aware that I have awesome, loyal customers and fans, none of which I feel that I deserve. I wasn't aware that my little/big dream to help change women was ALREADY working. The reason I can TELL that it's succeeding is that the way I've been treated could only come from women who have that love and passion within them! You ladies don't sound like selfish-small-minded women who focus on your flaws. You're vibrant and glorious....just exactly the way I've seen you the whole time!
|I REALLY enjoy the box of anti-biotic ointment band-aids in the front dash..proudly displayed....defying everything.|
I will just start with the day that we left. We headed out of Joplin, MO, near where my parents live. We stopped at Wal-Mart and spent an absolute shameful amount on snacks of every manner. This is not normally like me. I must have KNOWN something would occur.
That night, Brynn got the same stomach bug that I had had the previous night. It hurt SOOOO much. Churning, bubbling, stabbing pains, with throwing up and extreme sensitivity. Brynn said, "Mom....it feels like someone is hitting me in the stomach with a baseball bat." She was right. I climbed into the back to lay down with her. She was so sick that she couldn't even stand the pressure of her dress, so off it went. She just lay there in her undies, while I stroked her head.
|I think this almost makes me more sad than our dang car! I mean, I LOVE our trailer! The fact that it carries around our livelihood makes me feel like it's one of my employees. It works freaking hard, too!|
I woke up to hear my husband, Tyler saying that there was so much ice on the windshield that the defrost couldn't even battle it, with the highest heat setting. Strange. I hadn't thought the roads were bad at all just an hour before. Everything seemed fine. I laid there for about a half an hour, feeling very....I can't even DESCRIBE how. I just know that I didn't feel right. I called up to Tyler and told him to let me take over, since he was probably tired, then I laid my head back down by my kids. A few moments later, Tyler yelled, "Son-of-a! Brace Yourselves!" Suddenly, I could see the trailer weaving wildly out the back window, and suddenly, everthing in the world happened! I felt myself being violently chucked around the back, with an unearthly sound, akin to screeching dolphins, breaking, plates, and popping balloons. Suddenly, I was laying on the roof of our car, and everything was upside down. I felt the wind immediately. The window beside me had broken out (or I had kicked it out...one of the two.). I later found out that the wind gusts that night were 50 mph, with a temperature of 12 degrees and a windchill of -4 degrees. No wonder it was SOOOO freaking cold.
|stuffed, animals, jumper cables, and a mattress covered in my blood and the back window.|
|Over to the side, you can see Carly's guitar. It got some STRANGE puncture wounds. We were all deeply distressed. What is life without music!?|
|So....this is my trailer, looking into a fun-house mirror.|
|Inside of trailer. Metal crumples beautifully.|
|This reminds me of the kind of horror you see after a tornado. Metal just being sheared off like someone took gigantic scissors to it!|
Day 3: Wednesday, April 10th. After some serious thought, I decided that we may as well just get a new diesel SUV right there in Colorado, rather than trying to do rentals and having to drive a rental car AND a U-haul truck home. None of us girls felt like driving, and my leg was so swollen, I'm not sure I could have physically done it. I couldn't walk worth jack either, with all the muscle tissue damage and cuts I had gotten. Anyhow, after looking at several, we finally found one with the right price and mileage. We spent the rest of the day filling out paperwork and spending every last penny that we had just made at our Norman show. At least we had the money. *sigh*. P.S. We DO have full coverage on THIS vehicle, because not having it on the last one was the worst idea ever. Insurance companies don't give a dang if you wreck of your own accord and you have limited liability.
Day 4: Had to drive two hours BACK into the town where we wrecked, and go to the tow-yard to clean everything out. It was gross and messy and emotional. It's one of those "behind-the-scenes" things that you don't think about. It took us HOURS to transfer things, assess damage, and marvel at what had and hadn't broken!
|Just when we thought we were safe out of horrible weather...this! Thanks, Colorado. It was beautiful, and terrifying.|
|HOly JUNK!! My leg looks so swollen and gross here! I PROMISE, my calf isn't normally that massive!|
I have a LOT to do to try to prepare for our 5 weekend show starting in May. I'm going to have to sew the most incredible things anyone has ever seen and have the best show run of my entire life! The thing is, I'm SUPER energized, like I've never been! I feel like I can do anything, be anything, and sew anything! In many ways, this has been one of the best blessings of my whole life. I honestly needed some kind of re-charge, and man....did I get it! I know that I love this business fiercely, and I love my customers even more. Being able to see how much people care has really motivated me to be a better servant through my company. This life is precious, and I yearn to fill it with moments and actions that I can be proud of. I have been preserved because there is a great path ahead of me, and I need to walk it.