Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Working Hard or Hardly Functioning

My kids out mowing the yard. A classic American chore. We purposely got a push-mower because we thought it would build character, instead of one of those fun and exciting riding lawn mowers. Then we realized that we had a ginormous backyard of doom. 
 So, lately, it seems that all of the self-improvement that I've needed to do for years and years is sort of exploding in my face. I feel like I have signed up for "Get your S*%& together Boot Camp 2014" and it is relentless!! Every single thing I try to accomplish is met with so many gut-wrenching obstacles that I'm wondering if Satan's minions all formed a "We hate Michelle" team.  Now, strangely, I'm not complaining. I realized a few pertinent things, and they are pretty well the "wind beneath my wings" right now.
*I stopped asking the Universe "Why Me??"  It was really just making me more pissed off and sorry for myself, neither of which look very good on me.  I changed the dialogue in my brain to "Wow, Universe! You must REALLY want me to prove to MYSELF that I want this. If I set up a goal and it was easy and smooth to attain, I wouldn't be showing how committed I am to the venture. However, with you road-blocking me from the second I wake up at 4 am, you're forcing me to rise above and show how fierce I am! Thank you, Universe! Sincerely, Me!"
*I have had so many times in my life when I set a huge goal, like working out every day, and then immediately, I will get sick, injured, or some kind of physical plague. I honestly feel that it's my body rejecting my higher self, and acting out physically. The awesome thing is that if I can STILL work out even when I feel like junk, then I will be a TOTAL BOSS when I'm working out in a well state of being!
*I listened to a podcast that changed my life.  It was an interview with Thomas C. Corley who wrote a book called "Rich Habits" and he was talking about how he had spent the last 15 years or so studying the habits of rich and poor people alike. The interviewer asked him if he could sum up one major huge difference between wealthy people and poor people, and he said "Yes...it's that negative thinking is poverty thinking".
        Now, granted, this doesn't mean that all rich people are positive and all poor people are negative, BUT I can see where this would be a huge game changer in the lives of people. I don't want to get into any kind of political thing or make a bunch of people go crazy, but I DO want to say that it REALLY helped me, because every time I have a negative and limiting thought, I think, "hmm..that was poverty thinking". It's good to remember that you can be "rich" and "poor" in things besides money. You can be poor in relationships and friends. You can be rich in experiences.  You can be poor in understanding and compassion. You can be rich in talents. There are all sorts of variants, but I honestly do feel that negative thinking makes you poor in every aspect.
         Let me just point out that I have spent my whole life viewing myself as a negative person. I figured that I was sarcastic and pessimistic, and it was sort of funny.   Guess what? I don't want to be that any more. I don't want to limit myself and others by saying things that shut us all down. I am having to work CONSTANTLY in my brain to make these positive changes, and it's actually really exhausting. Even little things, like seeing a costume maker at another show who ripped off a bunch of my designs, make me have to work in my brain to be nice. Instead of thinking, "That dang b-otch" I thought, "It is AWESOME that someone thought I was cool enough that they wanted to be like me.  I'm so grateful that there are so many people out there at this show, and maybe that means that ALL of the vendors will do really well and we can all keep making enough money to vend at these incredible shows!" Now, I would love to say that was a flipped switch, and I was all better....but I had to REPEAT the same dang speech every time I saw her booth. I had to remind myself forcefully that I was happy for her and that there is enough good in this world to go around. Holy face, it was hard.
        Yet, truly, why would I ever complain? I'm so blessed and fortunate to live in this country, have this job, meet the women that my company connects me with.  I could spend days typing all the awesome things I have to be grateful for. Thus, why in the flipping heck would I think negative thoughts that shut me down and make me into less than what I can be?
     *sigh*.  And yet, I'll have to give this whole entire speech to myself again tomorrow. But, the thing is-I can do it. Negative thinking is poverty thinking.

1 comment:

  1. As I sit here at a turning point in my writing career (my first self-published book launched yesterday!), I think about you a lot, Michelle. Your determination and your perseverance are things I hold up to myself every day, and I say "If Michelle can do something she loves as her business, then you'll get there someday too." So thanks for that.