Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Things not to say to me at a Ren Fest

So, I've been doing the Oklahoma Renaissance Festival the whole month of May, and I've got to be honest, I hear the dang dumbest questions ever conceived from people that walk into my booth. Granted, I do this for a living, and I know a lot more about the ins and outs of bodices than the common man.....but seriously. Here's just a few examples.

*Do these break your ribs? (said in a valley-girl teenage drawl)

*Oh my gosh! I totally know how that chick in Pirates of the Caribbean feels! (we hear that at least 20 times an hour....it gets really old. And no, you don't know how she feels. Unless you're an anorexic actor, you don't know how Keira Knightly feels)

*I bet you don't have anything that fits my fat body! (Yes, we actually do, and the reason you're in here is to look skinny)

*So...are these a "one size fits all" type of deal? ( I can't even justify that with an answer most times. I just hang my head in shame.)

*Giggle* *Giggle* Can we try one on him???? (Sure, if you want to make a mockery of my life's work and fine quality clothing, and try it on a man's body so you can all have a good laugh and I can go home and cry myself to sleep.....go ahead and freaking do it!)

*How much are these shirts? (Don't call them Shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

*What country do you guys get these from? (well....it's a country called America!!!! Me and my husband make them. We don't import crap!)

*Where would you wear these things? (At this point, I am dumbfounded, and I stare at them with a scowl on my face that is a mixture of disgust and confusion. Uh...we're at a renaissance festival, and you're asking me where to wear them?"

*Can you breathe in those things??? (Well....let's see....I have a pulse, my chest is obviously heaving, because I have a goodly amount of cleavage, and I'm yelling at you as you run in terror from my booth. Yes, I can breathe in "those things")

Guys, I know I sound really bitter, but I might be a little jaded at this point in time. Don't mind me. I'm melodramatic....to say the least. Any of you who know me personally know that I have no settings between 0 and 10.


  1. Hey Boo, love the site and the blogs they are great. This is Nathan. check out out blog site at: nathanandsandi.blogspot.com
    to get the low down. Sounds like you guys are busy and doing well. That's great.

  2. Wow! Sounds like a lot of fun! Some people just don't deserve to be around your booth. You and Tyler do a GREAT job with your business! Eventually when I get rich, I'll buy something from you. :)

  3. LOL> You're so funny Chelle! I miss you tons - I can't wait till we can live by each other again someday...let me know when you're back at your moms house and I'll call so we can chat!

  4. Ha! You should here about the "friend" that joined us this last festival. 17 wearing a cheap Hot Topic "bodice" talking about the stays and how they are so stiff, and then trying to tell me she knows how it feel wearing a corset! *snicker* I bit my tongue the whole day. Thank you so much for the quality bodice! I hope to get more from you!

  5. You need a bouncer at your booth to weed out the "posers". I'd be happy to volunteer for that job.

    I think you're brilliant. -Kat

  6. ohhhh the torments! I'm thankful that when I worked Faire I was never in retail as I most certainly would have rung a few necks of those spewing such idiocy.
    Can't wait to meet you in Tahoe coming up on the 7/8!!!! My friend said it was snowing up that way this weekend, so expect some tricky weather. Hopefully in 2 weeks it'll warm up.
    Cheers and here's to better Faire's.

  7. That is so funny. Sounds like you are ready for a break!

  8. My favorites:

    -when people (usually women) come up to me when I'm wearing one of your corsets, stare at my chest, and say, "Are those REAL?"

    -when I'm asked if I'm Anne Bonny or Mary Reid

    -when people come up and just start TOUCHING my corset, usually inappropriately, and saying, "Oh, wow, that's got to hurt" or crap like that. Don't touch me. Carrying my axe around has cut down the incidence of this happening dramatically. :)

    BOOM loves you and we can't wait to see you again! Yarrrr! :)

    Greta of BOOM

  9. I got one of your corsets from ok ren and its beautiful! sorry for all the bs from the not worthy! Please come back. Gotta get that pirate coat!!

  10. /laughing/ A friend sent me the post link.... "One size fits all." Sheesh...!

    I don't even understand the Keira Knightly comment. Really. A bodice isn't a corset and even if... Never mind.

    Pity you're across the country; I'd like to see your work up close. I do other costuming but never bodices!

  11. Could you hit one of them for me? Seriously... Sometimes people are too dumb for me to deal with, I hope the season gets better as it goes on.

  12. I have been going to the renn fest in Muskogee for several years now with my kids. I loved your booth and very much admire your work. You have a great imagination and a wonderful eye. I enjoyed speaking with you and decided not to try on a bodice at the faire because I was so sweaty. ugh. Well I am planning on buying one or more when I can save up money for it. I have 4 children and actually I think they enjoy dressing up more than I do. Though I don't know how that could be true. We drive 4 hours to get to Muskogee and think it is one of the better fairs. The people are so nice. Keep doing what you are doing! See you next year.

  13. I think my boyfriend said that about me; there's no middle ground, it's zero or fuming. I love a good rant. Hope you feel better. ^_^

  14. Sucks that the only way to give good service is, "the customer is always right." For times like those, I'd like to hire someone to pretend to be a customer and harangue the idiots you describe. I wouldn't get to do the yelling unfortunately, but I would get the satisfaction of getting the point across. Then, nothing would reflect badly on the business, and I could giggle for hours with the pretend-customer later.

    You make lots of people very happy, Mistress Seamstress!

  15. I just love his site, you are great and your dresses are perfect.