Sunday, July 4, 2010

OH, the PAIN

I have never broken up with a boy in my life. I was always the breakee, being told encouraging, but firm messages like "You're a great girl, just not the one for me." "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." I suppose that having a strong personality and an Austen sense of romance can obliterate nearly any shallow high school relationship. Oh, plus I wasn't going to have sex with them, which then took any of my chances with men and squished them like a cockroach. I still tried, desperately, believing that there must me a man out there somewhere who wasn't terrified of me. However, by the time I was 18, I feel that I was pretty much a pro at being rejected, having my heart shattered, writing extensive aching love songs about it. Oh, the hammered and fraying Mead spiral notebooks that possessed the depths of my stinging soul!

I know for a fact that God sent me Tyler because he knew that I would be a bitter old maid at the ripe age of 18 1/2. The difference here is that I met someone who was ready for marriage, which is what I had been ready for since age 4. Not to say that Tyler wasn't a little bit wary at first, because I'm a very passionate person who can fall in love in 10 seconds flat. He worried that I fell in love with all men that quickly, and that he wasn't any exception. Oh, boy, is he the exception!

I'm not one of those people that needs to "find themself" or is "confused about how they feel". Those sentiments don't even compute in my brain. I see something, and I go for it. I know how I feel instantly, and I arrange my actions accordingly. How can anyone POSSIBLY not know how they feel??? It takes like two seconds. "Hmm...this man makes me feel alive and wanted and cherished. He understands my hopes and dreams, my aches and woes, my physical and emotional needs. Do I love him? Yes." Easy as pie. Although..actually, pie is not that easy. Hmm....easy as ramen noodles.

Okay, so now that we've established that I fell ardently in love and got married, we should assume that the pangs of rejection haven't plucked the strings of my inner harp. Yes, I don't get rejected for much. Wanted to have kids? Got two. Wanted to start my own business? Now I'm kicking butt at making corsets along with my husband. I'm a hard worker, and I believe almost anything is impossible if you've got the inner drive.

Last night after shooting off a few measly fireworks with family, and going through about 35 boxes of sparklers, we went to check our mailbox, having forgotten to get the mail earlier in the day. There was one letter, addressed to me, so Tyler handed it over. I looked at the envelope and saw that it was from the SteamCon in Seattle that I had applied for. My heart leaped a little and I thought, "Swell! I can start designing more steampunk corsets to take to this thing in November. I cannot wait!!" I hurriedly ripped it open, and my brow creased as the check for payment of the booth space fell out. What the...., and then I read the very polite rejection letter telling me that there were "many wonderful applicants" but "just not enough space for them all". OOOh, ouch. And WHAT THE DEVIL! We make the coolest steampunk corsets ever! And on their website, they state that they have twice the amount of space they had last year.... OH, it's like the faces of every boy that ever successfully got rid of me are looming over me, all holding identical letters to this one and shaking them in my face as they laugh. I've got a hard pit in the center of my stomach that is not at all different from the hardened and grotesque knot of heartbreak. I'm just depressed. I'm so spoiled with fulfilling my dreams as a result of hard work and determination that when I DON'T get something that I tried for, I feel like I must be a failure or something.

Whew, so I'm trying to decide whether or not I should let it roll of my shoulders or if I should make up the most amazing and professional looking application of all time and confidently apply for a place at NEXT year's show. Oooooh, but then I would get a letter that says, "Please, Michelle! We love you, but we are not IN love with you." "You are a great girl, but......"


  1. I wonder, how many people read your blog? Maybe we could all send them polite emails about why their show needs Damsel in this Dress.

  2. Sorry for the rejection. :( You are awesome and will rock their world in other things. Try, try again. :)

    I am glad, however, that this wasn't a rejection from the hubby. I started to get worried about that at first...

  3. Let it roll off. Then show them what they missed! Make that amazing letter and send it to another convention...Like one up here in Pirate Loving Oregon! Become the Queen of Portland Pirates and laugh in their face.
    Of course there's no hidden motives there ^_^.
    In all seriousness though they missed out. It happens sometimes. I'd forgive them for now, at least they didn't string you along only to dump you at the last minute. Apply as soon as you can for next year and focus on your other events. We're all happy and excited to have you! No need to fret over it darling.

  4. What a bum deal!
    You should apply next year and work on new wonderful things that will blow their tiny minds and make them regret they didn't accept you sooner!
    Don't take it too personally because the quality of your work really speaks for itself.
    Chin up mylovely!!

  5. *LE GASP!* That sucks! That's crap! That sucks and is crap! I live in Seattle and am totally bummed you won't be here! Your corsets are the best! That's it. I'm writing a letter. Done.

  6. They are seriously missing out! I suggest doing the most amazing steampunk photo shoots EVER and sending them the pictures with a note asking them to let you know if they can find you some space next year. I'd be delighted to help you with some sets and props. Make them crave your corsets!


  7. Well, sucks to be them, you would have been awesome. You should totally come to All-Con this coming March in Dallas, theme is steampunk. :3 Still trying to get you here, and I'm so sorry that in a moment of foolishness, they chose to pass up the most amazing, woman-centric corset maker ever.

  8. ((sending mental hugs and positive energy your way to do with as you will)) That sucks :(

    Your artwork is gorgeous and versatile--I'm sure they saw that but if they were full at least they responded in a prompt, respectful, and professional manor. If they had not then I would be pissed.

    I would let it roll off, go do something that makes you happy to blow off steam, apply for next year and then apply to other steampunk conventions in the area. The steampunk conventions out West, Midwest, and East are huge, network well with each other online as to what and who makes things well (etc.)
    So there has to be another one that perhaps would be better than that convention then?

    Come to Teslacon out here in Madison, WI one of these years instead ;) *hugs!* Hope your day is better and know the whole universe loves you and your gorgeous works!

  9. Well that sucks. I hope you will apply again next year, though. I live in Seattle and would love to buy something from you in person.

  10. Let it roll off you, while they do have a lot "more" space than last year in theory (one never knows til one attends of course)...I do know that last years event wasn't the hugest space.

    Very filled, but not the most room.

    You should totally re-apply next year...oh and then you could reject them. I mean uh, re-apply and come!

    then I can try on more corsetry goodness!

  11. Come to GenCon next year!! I can guarantee you at least two booth workers for at least part of the time...(me and Joeva :D)

  12. Have you ever tried DragonCon in Atlanta? (Not that it's likely to be any easier getting into such a monstrously large event, but we are certainly corset-loving shoppers here!)

  13. The nerve. You are awesome! Amazing! Absolutely stunning. With the new "Steampunk" section of your new website they will go "DUH! WHAT WERE WE THINKING!"

    (Sent from a motel in Bozeman, Montana in the middle of a long road trip)

  14. My suggestion? Add letters of recommendation from your loyal customers. If it helps a job application, why not a merchant app?

  15. OK. This makes me feel a little bit ashamed to be from Seattle. That sucks. I was looking forward to you being here in town. POO!!!


  16. I want you to know that I wore one of your beautiful corsets to the first Steamcon and I received oodles and oodles of wonderful complements and every time someone said something nice I told them that I got it from you and you were simply fabulous! I even wrote your etsy website down several times. And every girl I talked to about corsets with, spent way more than I did and just looked mushed into their corsets while I looked like a glass figured goddess who could still bend over and breath at the same time. And for the record and I'm not being bias at all (even though I do adore you)the corsets featured in last year where nothing, NOTHING compared to yours. And when I go this year I will make sure to wear your bodices every day to help me dazzle and I will tell everyone once more about the amazing seamstress that I bought it from! But I beg of you please come next year to Steamcon, just apply earlier and I'm sure you will get in so that I can finally meet you and thank you for your beautifulness not only as a sewer but as a women who constantly makes my day with her comments on the world which makes me want to become a strong and sexier woman!

  17. You go Miss Monica!

    Michelle, just think of it as a momentary pause to gather up your determination and drive on. And know if you need us, we are your army at your back!

  18. In a nutshell...
    SteamCon = Every loser guy that didn't know what he had when he had it.
    Portland Pirate Festival = Tyler!
    It was love at first sight for all of us pirate wenches of the Rose City - we love you and all your beautiful creations. Don't let it get you down - like others have said - go for it next year. Show up with all your gorgeousness, and say "Hi. Remember me? I'm the girl you could have taken to the Prom LAST year..." and smile to yourself as you walk away and their jaws just sit there on the ground, dumbfounded by how stupid they were last year...

  19. DragonCon is a great recommendation, if you haven't thought about doing it yet. I know that at GenCon, the UtiliKilt vendor sold them like hotcakes.

    I can imagine DragonCon would be a GREAT selling opportunity, especially with steampunk/victoriana items.

  20. Nooooooooooo! Seattle NEEDs you! I can't believe they turned your application down. Please keep trying, we'll rally here and write letters. We see you every year at the Portland Pirate Festival and wish you came closer to Seattle. I love your work, and can't wait to see it again this September.

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